When Hank Met Selene
by DarkSabertooth
Summary: When the Black Queen gets bored she decides that what she needs is love.Her chosen victim is Hank whether he likes it or not. Selene/Beast sort of
1. Default Chapter

**When Hank Met Selene**

****

"I'm Selene, External, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, sorceress of unprecedented power, one of the most powerful mutants on earth, extremely beautiful and able to get away with wearing lingerie but what does any of that matter? Blackheart, I'm bored!" shrieked Selene.

Demons wisely scattered lest they face the wrath of their diabolical mistress. One poor imp wasn't quite quick enough and with a whimper the luckless little demon exploded with a noisy pop. Selene blew the dust of her fingers and ran her hands through her lustrous raven hair. One sharp fingernail pointed accusingly towards her large four poster bed where Blackheart was waiting for her.

"Blackheart, I'm talking to you. Are you listening to me?" asked Selene in a tone of saccharine sweetness.

"Indeed I am oh glorious and tingly, most lovely and fantabulous Selene," sighed Blackheart heavily.

Sighing heavily the black furred demon blinked his burning red eyes a few times before gulping down another Prozac. Quickly he practiced the breathing exercises that helped to calm his anxiety before sighing again and taking another deep gulp of brandy. Thus fortified and prepared to deal once more with his beautiful and terrifying mistress he swiftly hid his dog-eared copy of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" under a pillow and tried to rub out the creases of his somewhat rumpled tuxedo. Then he teleported to his mistress's side a self effacing smile on his bestial face.

There was a crack as Selene slapped him on the cheek. Another crack came as she slapped him once more. Blackheart flinched but pretended to enjoy the pain since that was what his mistress expected of him.

"Bad boy, when I call you I expect you to come immediately not to take your own sweet time about it. Because of your tardiness you won't get to torture any of the prisoners tonight."

Blackheart hung his shaggy head sorrowfully trying desperately to hide his relief since he really didn't enjoy the torture all that much. Maybe now he'd get the chance to finish his book or have another look at his stamp collection. Maybe he could even get in some practice on his violin. Maybe Selene would let him play to the prisoners again since she thought it was a particularly diabolical torture. What a cheek anyway, he just needed more practice that was all.

"I am most sorry oh mighty mistress of malevolence whose dark beauty enchants my every waking hour and whose voice is a siren song delivering the sweet tenderness of death to the weak unworthy fools who are beneath her very notice."

"Now I _never get tired of hearing that,"_

"What does her glorious, effulgent, pulchritudinous, stupendous-"but Selene cut him off raising a threatening finger. Ebon energy crackled singeing the fur on Blackhearts snout and causing him to shiver uncontrollably. Once the trembling had stopped Selene spoke.

"I'm bored with your endless flattery Blackheart."

Oh no this was a major danger sign since normally she could lap this up all day. She obviously wanted a suggestion from him and this wasn't good, not good at all. Her full lips pouted elegantly and she rolled her eyes at him, nails caressing his chin as she waited for a suggestion.

"I shall devise a new and perverted torture for you to carry out on the prisoners!"

"We've had six of those already this week and besides I'm running out of prisoners. People these days, torture them for a week or two and they just sort of die. It wasn't like that when I was young, now the Spanish Inquisition they could keep people alive for years. No Blackheart, I want to try something new, completely different, something I've never tried before. Now come up with an idea and make it quick or we'll play how long does it take Blackheart to put himself back together after I tear him apart on a molecular level! Got that?"

"Well you could try taking up a hobby like knitting perhaps."

The fireball exploded at Blackhearts feet and he leapt ten feet up in the air. Obviously that idea hadn't gone down to well. Hastily he cast all thought of hobbies from his mind.

"Well how about a lovely pet. A cat would be ideal, especially one of those pretty fluffy Persians or how about a Siamese. A kitten might be just what you need."

Blackheart closed his eyes and smiled at the thought of lovely fluffy kittens wandering around the place. He'd always wanted a cat of his own but was worried that it would ruin his image still if it officially belonged to Selene he could fulfill his name. Of course the kitten would be named Fluffy which Blackheart thought very imaginative and original. This happy train of thought was interrupted by the impact of another fireball even closer than the first one.

"You're useless Blackheart. How many more of these half baked notions are you going to come up with? No it seems if you want to get anything right you have to do it yourself. I'll just have to go with the idea I had in the first place."

"What idea would that be o scrumptiously kinkily wickedly lovely Black Queen?"

"I'm going to fall in love Blackheart. That will be a good change don't you think?"

There was a loud crash as the demon promptly fainted. Selene sighed and knelt down next to the insensible demon, slapping his cheek until he came round. Blackheart awoke with a moan muttering something about wanting his teddy bear.

"Now Blackheart obviously it will have to be a man worthy of me so I think it'll be one of the X-Men. After all they constantly seem to be thwarting my schemes and spoiling my fun so it's about time they gave me a little compensation."

Blackheart wisely kept his opinions on this matter to himself. Now his mistress was looking at him expectantly so he knew he had to come up with an idea quickly. If not she might find Teddy and do something horrid to him. Mentally he ran through the male X-Men and finally decided on the one who was the most handsome and the biggest hit with the ladies.

"I suppose you will choose that charming Cajun scoundrel then mistress. I'll just go and fetch Remy for you then. I must say that you have excellent taste since Candra always had a soft spot for him."

"No he's handsome yes but not quite what I had in mind. I want a man who looks different from most other men, he's also got to be clever, athletic, strong, good with his hands, witty and have a bit of a wild side as well. I really think there's only one man who fits the bill."

"No not Logan! For the love of Christ, anyone but him! Oh no I've blasphemed. Sorry dad!" wailed Blackheart.

He could still remember the pasting he took at the hands of Logan all those years ago. Even now his dreams were haunted by that hirsute feral with the adamantium claws. He shuddered to think of the way that snarling visage glared into his own from the man's perch on the chair. Once again Blackhearts nervous tic started up and Selene sighed and waited for him to calm down.

"No Blackheart not Logan. Anyway we already went out together once and it turned out he wasn't my type. We did have a great time together and it's quite true what they say about him. Oh no, not again!" sighed Selene as Blackheart promptly fainted at this revelation.

While she waited for him to come round she instead cast a spell to save the time it would take explaining her intentions to her diabolical but skittish ally. Three illusionary forms appeared in the air and Selene smiled as she looked at them. Her chosen paramour, beautiful in any form and he had had quite a few of those over the years.

There he was in his original form looking little different from any other human. Of course his hands and feet were a little large and he did have a somewhat Neanderthal appearance but he was handsome all the same. He had a friendly face with gentle blue eyes and reddish hair. That apish body of his also housed one of the greatest minds the worlds had ever seen. 

Still his second form was one that proved a much bigger hit with the ladies. This was how he became to be known as the "bouncing blue Beast", Avenger, X-Man, bio-chemist and much more besides. Now he looked even more like a gorilla but covered with soft blue fur and the pointed ears, protruding fangs and claws gave him a somewhat more feral appearance. Selene kissed the image and wished that Hank still looked this way but then again he wasn't bad looking at present either.

The present form, taller and bulkier still but with a predatory grace he had never before possessed. Blue eyes now predatory amber, blue fur shaggier now but still soft, hands now with four fingers and fierce claws, a lion that was walking upright. Selene looked at Hank's new form and grinned. Yes she had to admit that somehow he was so much sexier. If that said something quite disturbing about her character then so much the better. After all she was Selene.

"Mistress I must respectfully inform you that you are probably mistaken if Hank will fall in love with you. While you are a beautiful woman and men can't help but admire your, well you know the things human men like though I can never understand it. Hank looks for something more than that in a woman; I think he prefers their minds."

"Well I am diabolically devious and cunning and ruthlessly intelligent so he can hardly accuse me of being all looks and no brain."

"It's not that but rather the fact that your, shall we say moral character somewhat differs from his. He is after all a gentle, compassionate, merciful, fun-loving furry blue genius and you're an immortal villainous sorceress with a sadistic streak the size of the Mississippi and extremely deviant practices. Putting it plainly I don't think you're compatible," said Blackheart.

He stood sweating fully expecting a dire fate for speaking so plainly to his mistress. To his considerable surprise Selene smiled and then tilted his chin with a nail. She gazed into those burning red eyes and smiled evilly.

"I will give him a choice, either he accepts my love or I will visit on him all the tortures of the damned. Since he's a genius he'll love me since he will have no other choice."

Blackheart sighed. It seemed that Selene really didn't understand anything about love at all. Somehow he knew that this was all going to end up in tears. Probably Selene's as well and as usual he would be the one who would have to pick up the pieces. Why couldn't she have followed one of his suggestions, what was wrong with knitting anyway?


	2. Selene Comes A Calling

**Selene Comes A' Calling**

****

The werewolf gave a little rumbling growl that was almost a purr and rubbed his shaggy head against Selene's shoulder. His eyes were closed as he was lost in the state of bliss brought on by being scratched behind his ears. Selene stroked his sideburns a few more times and then decided that enough was enough.

"Well thank you Jack Russell, as promised your payment and a nice raw juicy steak as a bonus," purred the Black Queen.

"You must think my mistress has unusual tastes. I hope you don't mind that the job involved no slaughter," said a somewhat nervous Blackheart. The werewolf reminded him entirely too much of Logan.

"Actually ya would be surprised by how many women like my sort. Anyway nice ta have an easy job fer a change. See ya around," growled Jack Russell with a toothy grin.

After the werewolf had let himself out Selene sighed contentedly, happy that her preparations were mostly completed. Now she just had to find a suitable costume which would perk Hank's interest in her. She noticed Blackheart giving her a funny look and decided she perhaps owed him an explanation.

"I wanted to see whether I actually liked men with fur. Now I'm looking forward to running my fingers through that luxuriant blue fur. Now I will want you to tell me what you think of my chosen costume," ordered Selene.

Diving through the several wardrobes full of black lingerie and evening wear she selected a particularly risqué number and changed into it. Turning to Blackheart she glared at him expectantly.

"Now what would Emma Frost think of this little number?"

"My explicitly and most brazenly voluptuous mistress she would consider this, I hesitate to call it a dress a little bit low cut maybe even indecent," whispered a shocked Blackheart.

"That makes it perfect," cooed Selene clapping her hands in delight while Blackheart raided his Prozac supply.

"I do think you should put a jumper on or you will get a terrible cold on your chest," 

"Blackheart dear you're a demon not my granny. Now let's just teleport to the X-Mansion and surprise my furry blue hunk. I'm sure he will be delighted to see us."

"Delight won't begin to describe his likely reaction my spectacularly mischievous and gloriously sinful mistress," muttered the demon.

When Selene appeared right in the main entrance of the mansion it caused a stir to say the least especially among the young male students. Dozens of eyes were drawn straight towards her cleavage and when Selene noticed and started striking saucy poses the crowd went wild. In fact they were so distracted by her that they never even noticed Blackheart hovering nervously behind his mistress.

"Hey Beak do you think she's our new teacher or something?" asked one student.

"If there is a god then yes," breathed Barnell with his beak practically dropped to the floor.

"Please mistress you may damage their innocent young eyes with this wanton behavior," pleaded Blackheart who was flushed with embarrassment.

Not too far away poor Scott Summers was at the center of another little confrontation between Emma Frost and Jean Grey as to who he was actually in love with. Fortunately both telepaths were too distracted by their bickering to learn his real thoughts about the situation which was that he was sick of them both at the moment. What he really wanted was to go for a nice quiet drink with Logan and get away from his wife and would be lover. At the moment he felt more like kissing the feral then either of them.

"Scott how you dare think such a thought I really don't know," hissed Jean.

"That was one mental image I could have done without. There you are Jean you've driven him away so much that he'd rather be gay like Hank," said Emma.

"Actually he didn't really mean that," said Scott hastily.

"Keep out of this," warned both telepaths in unison.

"Hey Scott would ya like ta fer a drink at the Auger Inn," called Logan to Scott. He had taken pity on the man who used to be his rival but was now more a friend.

"Come back here, we're not through with you," yelled Emma and Jean uniting against a common foe.

In their hurry to escape Logan and Scott rushed straight into the mass of students gathered around Selene. On catching sight of Blackheart Logan growled menacingly. With a high pitched scream Blackheart turned and fled which was the worst thing he could have done since that only caused the feral to chase him. Logan grinned savagely as he looked forward to a good fight. Meanwhile Selene caught held of Scott's arm and the poor man felt very nervous indeed.

"Excuse me but could you point me in the direction of Henry Philip McCoy?" asked Selene politely.

At that point Emma and Jean arrived to see a terrified Scott apparently in the clutches of the S&M queen of the Hellfire Club. They were certainly not going to let the Black Queen get her hands on him so they agreed to put their differences aside. Swiftly Emma shifted to her diamond form since she really didn't want to go through the contents of Selene's mind. Some things even Emma was too innocent to think about. Jean Grey used her telekinesis to attract Selene's attention via the simple expedient of hitting over the head with Beak.

"So the former White Queen and the Phoenix herself want a little brawl? Your wish is my command," shrieked Selene as she let loose with a lightning bolt.

A fight of epic proportions broke out between the three women to the delight of the watching students. Three highly attractive and interestingly clothed women embroiled in a catfight was the best entertainment they had had since Logan's unauthorized class outing to Las Vegas. Scott made a clean getaway and locked himself into the relative safety of the Danger Room.

"Stars and garters, has Cassandra Nova returned for her revenge or is it Sabretooth paying us a little visit? No it's a rather well dressed and terrified demon heading on a collision course for me. Say what?" roared Hank having just emerged from his laboratory.

Blackheart jumped up into Hank's arms with a pitiful wail, flinging his arms around the feline mutant's neck and nearly deafening him with his screaming. Whimpering pathetically Blackheart hugged Hank tightly and then jumped out of his arms. Throwing himself at Hank's feet Blackheart started pleading for all he was worth.

"S-save m-me f-from th-that f-f-feral. H-he's g-g-gone b-berserk," begged a traumatized Blackheart.

"Who has gone berserk? Oh stars and garters this is all I need," sighed Hank.

A snarling and very bloodthirsty Logan was charging towards his quarry with claws extended and his lips pulled back in a vicious snarl. Screaming something about werewolves not being this frightening Blackheart dived behind Hank who raised a clawed hand in a futile attempt to halt Logan's furious charge.

Though Hank was more than twice his size few things could stand up to a maddened feral with adamantium laced bones. Hank was knocked flat on his back while a berserk Logan crouched on his chest, slashing his claws at the petrified Blackheart. Unfortunately Hank's head was blocking the way and Logan seemed to be doing his best to remove that obstacle. Adamantium claws gave Hank an impromptu and rather messy haircut and a small nick appeared on Hank's cheek.

"Logan please, I can hardly breathe through you pressing on my sternum and I really don't want to be decapitated," gasped Hank.

Logan calmed down marginally and glared into the face that was only slightly more hairy than his own. His fierce hazel eyes glared into Hank's amber eyes and then the terrified crimson eyes of Blackheart. Logan grinned savagely revealing his impressive canines and seemed to rejoice in Blackhearts pitiful whimper. The demon was huddled on the floor looking absolutely pitiful. He was mumbling over and over again about ferocious sideburns.

"Why don't ya get out of the way Hank so I can give demon boy a taste of my claws? I've been itching fer a fight like this fer a long time."

"Logan please show a little pity, the poor thing is absolutely terrified. Besides you are kneeling on my chest and I am thus pinned beneath you."

At this point a somewhat rumpled Selene turned up and saw the man of her dreams lying pinned beneath a very feral looking Logan. Of course she immediately leapt to the only conclusion her deviant mind could construe from this perfectly innocent situation.

"Then it is true Hank. Oh why do the best men always have to be gay?" wailed Selene.

Hank and Logan looked deeply shocked by this and hastily denied the allegation. Logan's berserker rage was forgotten and he rather sheepishly got off and helped Hank to his feet. The thought of Logan and Hank in love with each other was almost too much for Blackheart who very nearly went into a catatonic state.

"Sorry my bad, but an easy mistake I suppose. Actually this reminds me of one of my favorite games. I'll just tell it to you Hank so you'll have some idea of what's in store for you as my lover," said Selene with a delighted smile. By starting with something relatively decent she could take things slowly and allow him time to adjust to being her man. He would be her man as well since no-one resisted her charms.

A little while later she took a deep breath and concluded her explanation of her little game.

"Of course the python and the rubber truncheon aren't absolutely essential but they add greatly to the enjoyment and it just isn't the same if you use wooden instead of silver spoons. Now how do you like the sound of that?"

Logan felt that his healing factor was the only thing that had saved him from a cardiac arrest. He was deeply shocked and that was saying something for him. Certainly he would never be able to look at creosote in quite the same way again. Looking round he saw that things had finally proven just too much for Blackheart and the demon had fainted dead away. As for Hank he had fallen to his knees in shock having gone deathly pale beneath his fur and for once being at a loss for words.

"Ya certainly no lady darlin, why would ya want ta do disturbing things like that?" gulped the feral nervously.

"Well we immortals can get bored and we need certain amusements to help us pass the time," purred Selene.

She strode towards Logan who desperately tore his gaze away from her legs and then made a valiant if not entirely successful effort to concentrate on her face. Her long nails stroked a mutton chop and she smiled as her eyes roved over his physique. She seemed to like what she saw but Logan wished he'd put on a flannel shirt over the sleeveless white vest. He was feeling distinctly nervous about the way Selene was looking at him.

"You're cuter than I thought and you have the loveliest sideburns I've ever seen on a man. Maybe you and I could get together again some time. Bye handsome, see you around," whispered Selene in a sultry tone.

Logan snarled at her and stalked off to find Scott who was still hiding in the Danger Room. Fortunately Emma and Jean had gone off together to celebrate their victorious catfight with the Black Queen so it was safe for him to come out. Scott looked concerned at how pale his friend was.

"Logan, are you alright?"

"I need beer, lots of beer, let's go now and get beer!" growled the feral.

Selene smiled at her entranced paramour. She frowned slightly at his costume and gestured, using her molecular control powers to change his X-Men uniform to the typical attire worn by a member of the Inner Circle. After all it was only fitting that her prospective Black King should be suitably clad. Adjusting her dress to show just the right amount of cleavage she moved slowly, languorously towards him. Her hand reached out brushing his shorn mane and with a gesture she restored his fur to its former glory. Fingers ran through his thick fur provoking an involuntary purr with their caress. She smiled triumphantly and then pursing her lips leaned in to kiss him.

"Stars and garters, I must ask you to cease your improper advances at once madam," roared Hank.

"Don't you think I'm beautiful Hank? Don't you want to be my lover?"

"Admittedly you are a very beautiful woman but I must decline your offer for a number of good reasons. Firstly you are an External, immortal which means I will grow old and die while you live on eternal and unchanging. Also I'm a man in his late thirties while you are centuries old. The age gap is too great."

"I can make you immortal Hank and surely the difference between our ages won't matter then. I can gift you with this."

"Please let me live life to the full enjoying each day as it comes rather than dreading them as an endless procession," pleaded Hank.

Pointing out that she was a deadly enemy was utterly pointless since she wanted to rectify this and pointing out that she was evil while he was good made merely made her tell him that opposites attracted. She hushed his further objections and started scratching him behind his ear making it hard for him to concentrate. It was plain that she wanted him and a small part of Hank was rejoicing that this beautiful if evil woman wanted him. Thinking quickly Hank switched to a different tact.

"Madam I am unworthy of you, this grotesque beastlike form is surely not desirable to you. Why not try Exodus, he is an External like you and he's handsome and evil and just right for you. Please can't you see how unworthy I am of you," said Hank.

"I find you most pleasing to the eye Hank and I can't see why you despise yourself so. If you like I can use my powers to return you to an earlier form if that is your preference. I will do this for you, give you power beyond your wildest dreams, make you immortal to rule by my side forever," said Selene.

Then she smiled sweetly at Hank and took his chin in her hands pulling him closer to her and kissing him wildly.

"Maybe I could change if a gentle compassionate man like you could find it in his heart to love one such as me. I may be pure evil but you could redeem me and make me pure good," purred Selene.

She ran her fingers through his mane once more and hugged him close to her not noticing that he looked absolutely horrified.

"You Hank shall be my snuggle bunny," she whispered in his ear.

"Stars and garters, help me, please, anybody, save me, help!" roared Hank despairingly.

"Hush now," whispered Selene as she kissed him once more.


	3. The Torments Of Trish

**The Torments of Trish**

****

"Now Hank you have had time to consider my offer so what is your final answer?" purred Selene

"I'm sorry ma'am that I must decline your gracious offer. The answer is no," 

Hank immediately knew that he had made a mistake when Selene's eyes sparkled angrily. The nails caressing his cheek dug in deeply and drew rivulets of blood and there was energy gathering around her hand. Hank closed his eyes and hoped that the end would be quick although knowing Selene he was going to suffer a slow and torturous death. Reprieve came from an unsuspected quarter as Blackheart awoke and placed a restraining hand on Selene's arm.

"Oh magnificently scented mistress I believe he is merely overwhelmed by your generous offer and the astounding revelation of your love," said the demon.

"Yes that's true Selene, just give me more time to think things through and I'll think of a way to deal with this situation."

Selene smiled and slapped Hank playfully on the cheek. She wagged a finger at him as though chiding him for being cheeky and a mischievous smirk played on her lips.

"Why naughty Hank you are determined to play hard to get aren't you. It seems I will have to find a way to persuade you to accept my love. Still I love a good game and it will be worth it to win a prize like you. So long handsome," purred Selene before vanishing.

"You don't need to thank me for saving you Hank. I was repaying you for protecting me from that brutal monster," said Blackheart before he too teleported back to the Hellfire Club.

Hank sighed and decided to head back for his quarters to exchange his present Hellfire Club garb for one of his spare uniforms. A sobering thought came as he considered Selene's powers of molecular control. He would have to be very careful in playing this game or it might not be his clothes that got altered next time. He might end up a pile of dust at her feet. He was so lost in thought that he nearly bumped into Warren who stepped back and looked him over admiringly.

"Nice clothes Hank, they suit you. You know you look just like the romantic lead in "Beauty and the Beast," said Warren.

"Make that "She-devil and the Beast" and you would be right. Now if you will excuse me I will need a change of clothes and a shower," mumbled Hank.

**Hellfire Club**

Selene smiled at the thought of how delighted Hank would be by her next effort at pleasing him. After all Trish Tilby had hurt him badly with her rejection of him and she deserved to suffer for it. Also she would be getting rid of her biggest rival for the love of Hank and that would be a major bonus. She would start off with one of her best tortures, the feared Wheel of Nausea. The hideous device had been set up and a table laid out with cakes, ice cream, candy, and chocolate, Twinkies, cola and lots of other sugary snacks. A flash of light indicated the return of Blackheart with her prize, a shivering Trish wearing her nightgown.

"So sorry to have disturbed your beauty sleep Miss Tilby," sighed the demon apologetically.

"What the hell is going on here and what sort of place is this, some house of ill repute?" snapped Trish.

"Welcome to the Hellfire Club Trish where you will suffer all the torments of hell for your cruel dumping of darling, precious Hank. Now eat up or I will tear you apart on the molecular level. I'm Selene by the way."

"The Black Queen, I've heard of you sister. When Hank hears about this he will come after you,"

"That darling is the general idea. Now eat up," said Selene as a mental command forced Trish to start gulping down the sugary snacks washing them down with the cola.

"Do you really have to do this, it really is revolting," moaned Blackheart.

Selene ignored him and simply grinned wickedly once she saw that Trish had finished and was looking rather green around the gills. A clap of her hands brought two demons running and they quickly strapped Trish to the Wheel of Nausea. Selene laughed wickedly and pulled a lever causing the infernal device to start rotating rapidly with the already nauseous Trish strapped firmly to it.

"I'm afraid I can't stay and watch the fun dears. I'd better go and tell Hank the good news. I'm sure he will be thrilled to hear about it," purred Selene before vanishing.

"Oh I can hardly bare to look," sighed Blackheart turning quickly away as he heard the sound of retching. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his Prozac swallowing a large handful of the pills before running off to hug his teddy bear.

**Xavier Institute, medical laboratory**

Finding himself in urgent need of some aspirin, Hank had nipped into the infirmary to take some. Hopefully he wouldn't be seeing Selene again for a while and perhaps she might even lose interest and find another game to keep her entertained. These hopes were sadly dashed when he heard a familiar giggle and turning around he saw Selene stretched out on one of the beds wearing a rather risqué nurses uniform.

"Oh doctor McCoy, I need urgent medical attention," purred Selene.

"The only thing you're risking is a cold on your chest. If you want an answer I'm still thinking about it and in fact had nearly come to a decision before you distracted me," snapped Hank.

"Well you'll be pleased to know that I found Trish Tilby, your ex who cruelly dumped you and I'm going to teach her how a gentleman should properly be treated. Ah now that got your attention didn't it. I expect you'll want to come over to the Hellfire Club right away," 

She stretched languorously and blew Hank a kiss.

"I'll tell them to be expecting you and to treat you like the Black King you will be. Please wear the costume I made for you since I want you to look your best. Bye for now."

She blew another kiss and vanished. Hank certainly would be paying a visit to the Hellfire Club but not for the reason he thought. While he had been angry at Trish and he wasn't sure if he had forgiven her yet he certainly wasn't going to leave her in the hands of Selene.

"Well Selene you have just gone from being an annoyance to a threat. However powerful you may be I won't stand by while you threaten innocents. Perhaps then you will get the message and just leave me alone," growled Hank.

**Hellfire Club**

Trish had been released from the Wheel of Nausea and reluctantly accepted the spare little black dress that Blackheart handed her to replace her now ruined nightgown. She ended up feeling sorry for the poor demon that was obviously a nervous wreck even if his endless apologizing was getting on her nerves. When Selene reappeared Trish felled her with a quick right hook drawing a wail from Blackheart. Selene simply smiled and threw Trish a look of utter contempt.

"You will regret such foolish action my dear. We shall now begin the next torture the worst I can think off. Demons chain her to the wall."

The command was swiftly obeyed and soon Trish was secured and Blackheart came in carrying a chalkboard which he set up in front of her. Selene smiled and held up her hands for all to see. Trish suddenly realized what was going to happen as she looked at those long tapering fingernails and the chalkboard. Selene laughed insanely as she saw the look of terror in her victim's eyes.

"Yes this torture is always the one that breaks them darling. After all who can withstand the sound of fingernails being scraped down a chalkboard?"

**Hellfire Club Entrance**

Hank had deliberately chosen to wear his X-Men uniform to let Selene know that he wasn't planning on tolerating her antics any longer. He stood glaring; arms folded representing a most formidable sight in his anger. Seven foot and six hundred pounds of muscle, fur, fang and claws with yellow eyes glinting with rage and his lips curved back in a fearsome snarl. Nobody was going to hurt Trish while he was around to prevent it. Pausing he realized that he was acting like Logan so he might as well do what Logan did. He drew back his arm and crashed his clawed fist into the door sending a vibration that shuddered through the whole building and nearly reducing the door to splinters.

The door slowly creaked open and a young man appeared with distinctive green hair nervously tugging on his beard. Trevor Fitzroy bowed deeply to the glowering feline figure and then threw himself at Hank's feet kissing his boots and generally groveling in a disgusting manner.

"Oh it's so wonderful of you to visit us Black King. I see you are not wearing your uniform but that's fine, whatever pleases you. Oh do come in sir and we'll make you comfortable. Is there anything I can do for you sir? Take your jacket to be dusted, polish your boots, brush your mane, get you some Twinkies or anything you want sir. I live to please my handsome, hirsute, Herculean, honorable, heroic Black King," said Fitzroy in the most obsequious of tones.

Hank nearly gagged at this rather nauseating display and sighed heavily. Reaching down he took hold of Fitzroy's shoulders and gently lifted him to his feet. Hank shook his head before speaking.

"Obviously Selene has told you that I'm your new lord and that you are to treat me with respect and obey my commands. Is that correct?"

"Indeed it is my luxuriantly, lustrously furred, leonine lord. You wish is my command. How may this unworthy one serve you?"

"Well please stop with the alliterative praise as it is rather annoying and just tell me where Selene is please."

Fitzroy smiled and clapped his hands. Roberto DeCosta appeared and went to kiss Hank's boots but stopped at a shake of Hank's head. Settling for kneeling at Hank's feet he gazed up into the feline eyes and spoke.

"Sir she is presently occupied with torturing Trish Tilby for your pleasure in her inner chambers. I will point the way for you if you will just follow me sir."

Hank smiled and nodded graciously. Successfully fending off Fitzroy's attempt to dust down his jacket he followed Sunspot to the entrance of the inner chambers. Opening the door his sensitive hearing was at once assaulted by an indescribably hideous sound. Gritting his teeth he followed the noise which he knew would lead him to Selene and the captive Trish.

Several torturous minutes later he finally arrived in the torture chamber to find Blackheart and the other demons huddled in a corner with their hands over their ears. Trish was tied to a chair while Selene was dragging her fingernails slowly down the chalkboard producing the insidious sound. She looked up and saw Hank and her face lit up with a radiant smile.

"Hank so nice to see you and you are looking as formidably lovely as ever. As you can see I am teaching Miss Tilby the errors of her ways. Yes Hank I did this just to please you and show you how much I care for you. What do you say to that," purred the evil External.

Hank's hearing had always been sensitive and was even more acute in his new feline form. The noise was grating on every nerve, making it almost impossible to think and it was literally driving him insane. Perhaps then Hank could be forgiven for once forgetting his usual gentlemanly conduct. Desperate to end the torment to his ears by any means possible he snatched up the chalkboard and broke it over Selene's head. The immortal sorceress went out like a light.

"Hank thank you so much for coming to my rescue," said Trish as Hank broke her chains.

"Please accept my sincere apologies," begged Blackheart.

"Just show me to the nearest exit and you can consider yourself forgiven," growled Hank.

Once safely outside and with Fitzroy telling his new Black King to call by any time Hank breathed a sigh of relief. He was feeling guilty about resorting to physical violence with Selene but perhaps she would hate him now and want nothing more to do with her. Noticing that Trish looked cold he removed his jacket and slung it over her shoulders to keep her warm. Trish looked admiringly at him thinking the T-shirt nicely showed off his muscles and gently stroked the blue fur on his arm.

"Hank I can't thank you enough for saving me from that. Here is a small token of my appreciation," said Trish as she kissed him.

Hank returned the kiss and gave her a gentle hug.

"Maybe we can start over again Hank," said Trish.

"Yes I believe we could Trish and I think I would like that. I'm afraid though that renewing our relationship will have to wait until I sort out the problem of my unwanted admirer," said Hank regretfully.

"Well I'll be waiting," said Trish and she waved him a fond farewell before walking off.

"Maybe my troubles will soon be over," purred Hank before beginning a steady stroll back to the mansion.

**Selene's boudoir**

Selene awoke with a groan to find she was on her bed, a concerned Blackheart hovering nearby.

"He hit me over the head," she exclaimed in disbelief.

"Indeed he did most voluptuous and beautiful one, perhaps the hirsute gentleman dislikes you," said Blackheart hoping this ridiculous charade would soon be over.

"No that was just a flirtation to show his affection for me. He really, really likes me Blackheart. In fact I think Henry McCoy is in love," purred Selene.

"With all due respect mistress are you sure you don't have a concussion," sighed Blackheart earning a slap for his troubles.


	4. The Illusion Of Truth

**The Illusion of Truth**

****

It was four in the morning and Selene was sitting on her throne with a bandage on her head and feeling rather sorry for herself. Blackheart was also feeling out of sorts since Selene had drunk up all of his Bourbon so he had to make do with brandy. On hearing his mistress's delighted exclamation he looked up to see the last person he expected coming through the door. The demon frowned sensing something not quite right with this situation. It was clear that things weren't exactly what they seemed.

Hank was wearing the Hellfire Club attire that Selene had created and there was a gentle smile on his leonine face. Yellow eyes gazed adoringly at Selene as he bowed deeply to her. She smiled and held out her hand for him to kiss.

"Ma'am I am eternally yours," purred Hank.

Then before Selene's horrified gaze he dissolved into a pall of mist. The sound of mocking laughter filled the room as the sneering Martinique Jason swaggered into the room. One of Selene's fireballs hit her dead on but it was merely another illusion. Selene was cursing herself for a fool at being taken in by Mastermind's cheap parlor tricks. Sniffing the air she discerned the location of her tormentor and a gesture bound Martinique in a crackling web of electricity.

"How can you justify this trickery Mastermind? If you want to survive you had better have a good explanation," snarled Selene.

"I wish only to demonstrate the potency of my power Black Queen and that it at your disposal. Just think how useful I could be in ridding you of your rival Trish."

"Yes you're quite right Martinique and I've just thought up the perfect plan which will gain me Hank's undying affection. You see I've finally realized I've been going about this the wrong way by coming on too strong and being too seductive. An intelligent man like Hank isn't so easily taken in but this time he will be mine," purred Selene.

**Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, ****Logan****'s room**

Logan had finally staggered in after a hard nights drinking and just crashed straight down after taking off his boots and jacket. He was sleeping like a baby now and he presented an irresistible target to Selene when she teleported into his room. The first part of her plan was to make Hank think she was losing interest in him and this involved flirting with other handsome male mutants. Of course it helped that she found Logan most handsome and feral since it made the job so much easier.

Logan grunted slightly as he felt someone tickling the soles of his feet. Then a gentle hand started stroking one of his sideburns and he caught a vaguely familiar scent of perfume. Looking up bleary eyed he saw a beautiful rather scantily clad woman standing over him. Half-awake and mumbling something about Jean he didn't object when she embraced him and pulled him close. Their lips met and they kissed and then too his horror Logan finally recognized the scent.

Logan's angry roar woke up the entire mansion as snarling he extended his claws towards Selene.

"Yer in fer it now ya lousy witch," growled Logan leaping towards her.

"You really are cute when you're angry," purred Selene before vanishing again.

Snarling Logan stomped out of his room and went in search of a beer or two.

"I'd better go and see if Logan's alright Jeannie, he sounded pretty angry," said Scott as he stumbled to his bedroom door. To his considerable shock it suddenly burst wide open at a gesture from Selene and he literally fell forward into her open arms. She took advantage of his surprise to give him a deep passionate kiss which he seemed to enjoy.

"I bet she never kisses you like that does she Cyclops? Oh time to go," said Selene as she saw a very angry Jean coming towards her with a murderous expression. She blew a final kiss to Scott enjoying Jean's anger before teleporting herself. Scott was left all alone to face the wrath of his wife.

"Listen dear that really wasn't what you think… ugh," groaned Scott as the furious telepath cracked him over the head with the bedside lamp.

**Early morning, Hank's laboratory**

Hank had woken up to find a note left by Selene on his bedside table. He was feeling quite relieved as he read that she was very sorry but she was no longer interested in him and she hoped he would not be too upset. His good cheer was only slightly spoilt by having to deal with Scott's concussion. He was fine now but had followed Hank's advice and gone on a mission to investigate Brotherhood activities over in New York City. It would be much safer for him than being around Jean at the moment.

"Now Beak I'm sure Logan won't chase you up the tree again but it might be best if you didn't ask him how hot Selene is again."

Hank sighed as he watched his pupil leaving the room. It seemed that Barnell along with most of the other young male students was quite taken with Selene. If they had to endure her attentions he reckoned they would soon change their minds about her. His thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing and he hesitated to answer it at first, fearing it would be Selene.

"Henry McCoy speaking, oh hello Trish. Yes I can do lunch today, noon in Diamonds, yes that will be fine dear. Yes see you there then. Love you too. Bye."

Selene smiled as she observed the scene in her crystal ball. She glanced over to Martinique who nodded in understanding. It was time for the next phase of the plan to go into action and to deal with Trish Tilby once and for all.

**Diamonds, an expensive restaurant at ****noon******

Hank was wearing his best tuxedo and had his fur groomed to perfection as he walked into the restaurant. Intent on his dinner date he never noticed the waitress watching him intently. The waitress smiled wolfishly and for an instant her eyes shone green before Mastermind reinforced her illusion.

"Would sir like to place his order?" asked Martinique.

"Thank you ma'am but not yet. I'm waiting for a lady," said Hank.

Perfect the illusion was fooling him as easily as it fooled everyone else. Now Trish was walking through the door wearing a rather nice cream trouser suit. Martinique grinned and changed it to attire of a rather different nature. A black leather outfit worn by Selene for her wilder parties and a bullwhip in her hand gave the perfect dominatrix look. 

"Hello Hank, as you can see I've dressed for the occasion," said Trish.

"S-stars and g-garters," stuttered Hank yellow eyes wide in shock.

Trish frowned as she noticed the looks of mixed outrage and disgust on the faces of the restaurant patrons. Then she relaxed as a voice came into her mind telling her what she had to do. For an instant she protested but the voice assured her that Hank would love this and that made it alright. Trish grinned and cracked her illusionary whip.

"Yes I know you want this Hank, after all you're just an animal so you might as well give in to your instincts. Come on Hank; show me just how much of a Beast you really are tiger,"

"Please Trish stop this immediately. I don't go in for this sort of thing, just please stop."

"Your mind says no but your body says yes Hank. Go on you're just an animal, you haven't got any morals or inhibitions so don't give me any of that crap about being a human being. I mean an animal like you loves this sort of thing."

"How dare you think that I've become a debased animal? Just because my appearance is more bestial doesn't mean I'm any less of the man I was. I thought you understood that but obviously I was wrong. At least Selene is up front about what she is unlike you. I never knew that this side of you existed before today and I can't bring myself to speak to you any more," whispered Hank sadly.

He got up and went to leave just as Mastermind released Trish from her telepathic control. She smiled with sheer malicious delight as she saw the confused Trish reaching out to touch Hank's arm. She smiled even more broadly when she saw the hurt in her eyes as he shook her off.

"What's wrong with you Hank? Why are you acting this way?"

"Ask those questions about yourself Trish. I'm afraid I don't think I ever want to speak to you again. Goodbye,"

Trish stood shocked and amazed still quite unaware of her illusory costume. She wondered why on earth people were gazing after Hank with such sympathy and such disgust towards her. She didn't even resist when the manager arrived with a pair of security guards and threw her out.

"I'm afraid that type of conduct is quite unacceptable in this respectable establishment. If I see your face here again I shall be forced to call the police," said the manager.

Trish came out of her confusion to see a forlorn Hank stumbling wearily down the road. Calling after him she ran to catch up anxious to find out what was the matter with him. Unfortunately Martinique decided at this point to switch the dominatrix illusion to one of Trish being completely naked.

"Hank, Hank, wait for me,"

"Stars and garters!" roared Hank and he increased to a pace that Trish could not follow scrabbling over a fence to escape the apparently stark naked Trish who was chasing him.

~* what on earth did Selene do to the person I loved?*~ the thought was passing through their heads simultaneously.

Martinique dropped the illusions entirely satisfied that with plenty of witnesses to Trish's apparent conduct, a career ruining scandal was just around the corner. Just to make sure though she had one more trick up her sleeve.

**A park in ****Salem****Center**** two hours later**

Hank was huddled under the tree feeling utterly miserable. It was obvious that Trish had been more badly affected by her ordeal at the hands of Selene than he had thought. Maybe she had discovered she enjoyed that sort of thing or perhaps it was a psychological reaction. He didn't hate her so much as pity her and he would probably be able to forgive her in a month or two. However at the moment he already had enough trouble with one kinky woman after him without another one. To be honest he didn't even want to see Trish let alone speak to her for a very long time.

Hank's fur was matted with sweat and tears, his pointed ears were curled back and his eyes were blurry with tears. It all seemed just too much at the moment. It was at this moment of extreme emotional vulnerability that Selene played her trump card.

"What's the matter Hank, do you want to talk about it?" asked Selene sympathetically. She was wearing for once a costume that while flattering conformed to the laws of decency and she was doing her best to look genuinely sympathetic. In need of somebody to talk to, Hank told her everything.

"Oh Hank I've been going about this the wrong way and I've really screwed up haven't I. I mean for the first time in centuries I come across a man I could really care for and I treat him like all the others, a game, just someone I can seduce, have fun with and throw aside when I've done with him. You're not like the others though; you're kind, clever, caring and you deserve a better woman than me. Please Hank could we start afresh, just put my mistakes behind us and try again."

"Stars and garters, for the second time today a woman has shown me a side to her I never suspected. I suppose I might as well give you a chance to redeem yourself."

"We can take things slowly Hank and let you set the pace. I mean as an immortal I can afford to be patient and a slow courtship will be something new to me. You can be my Black King and you will be my equal in all respects and anything you want to do with the Hellfire Club I'll be happy to agree to. Look why don't you come tonight and just meet the others, a quiet dinner nothing more and you don't have to wear the uniform if you don't want to. See what you think and if you don't like it then leave and I'll let you go."

"Very well Selene I will consider it but I'm not making any promises."

She smiled sweetly and for a second looked almost innocent. She kissed him once on the cheek and with a last bat of her eyelashes vanished as quickly as she had come. Sighing Hank got up and took himself back home, he had a lot of things to think about.

**Later that afternoon**

Martinique Jason had made one final use of her illusion powers by disguising herself as Trish. She had then got into a heated argument with Trish's boss, insulted him and slapped him as a result of which Trish no longer had a job. What's more one of the main items on the news that afternoon was her rumored bizarre behavior. Bewildered and dejected Trish rang Hank hoping for a sympathetic ear.

"I'm sorry Trish but I really don't want to talk to you right now. Goodbye," said Hank putting the phone down firmly.

Scratching his furry chin with a claw he came to a decision. He might as well go to the Hellfire Club meeting and see what it was like. Of course there was always the possibility that Selene was setting a trap but he seriously doubted that was her intention. To be on the safe side he left a message telling Jean and Logan where he was. If there was any trouble the X-Men would be more than capable of dealing with the External. Humming Handel's Messiah he went to his room and took the costume Selene had made for him from out of his wardrobe. The clothes fitted perfectly and admiring his reflection he had to admit that he looked magnificent. He grinned for the first time that day and decided he might as well try and enjoy himself.

**Hellfire Club, early evening.**

"Do you really think he will come my magnificently scented mistress?" asked Blackheart anxiously.

"Who do ya think yer kidding demon, of course he'll come ta the party," growled Jack Russell.

"He certainly won't want to see Trish Tilby any time soon. I made sure of that," purred Martinique smugly.

Selene said nothing but simply smiled as she gazed into her crystal ball. She could see Hank arriving at the main door even as she spoke and being escorted by her Black and White Rooks Fitzroy and De Costa. She put the crystal ball down and did her best to look nonchalant.

"Now quiet everyone and try to look respectable. Oh and Jack dear, remember what utensils are for. Use a knife and fork on the steak not claws and teeth."

"Of course ya ladyship, what do ya take me fer?"

"Blackheart put away that whisky bottle and lose the teddy bear, oh and Mastermind no mention of your little tricks. Hank's not stupid and if he finds out the truth I'll lose any chance of winning his heart. That will bode ill for you."

Martinique shivered momentarily and nodded while Blackheart gulped down a Prozac or two and took a last gulp of whisky.

Then the door was flung open by Roberto as he lead Hank in, stepping respectably to one side of his prospective Black King. Hank reclined his head respectfully before being nearly bowled over by a very enthusiastic Fitzroy.

"May I present his hirsute highness, the wondrous, compassionate and furry one, our new Black King, Henry Philip, "Beast" McCoy!"

"Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank," chanted Mastermind, Jack, Roberto, Fitzroy and Blackheart.

"Welcome Hank and it is a pleasure that you decided to join us here today," purred Selene.

"Believe me ma'am the pleasure is all mine," replied Hank as he took his place at the table next to her.

He wondered just exactly what he was letting himself in for.

"Oh my stars and garters," he murmured thoughtfully.


	5. Tea With The Black Queen

**Tea with the Black Queen**

****

"So do ya know what the best thing is about a raw juicy steak Hank? Yeah when ya bite into it and just let the blood trickle down yer chin. Then I love eating mice too, swallowing em whole just like Twinkies," growled Jack as the werewolf made polite conversation with Hank. Beast wasn't sure if he would ever be able to enjoy his favorite snack again.

"Then ya know how hard it is not ta stare at some guy's throat and imagine tearing it out with ya fangs? Yeah I bet ya do, 'cause after all yer a feral type like me."

"Actually my dear lycanthrope I believe you would get along famously with Logan. Please may you refrain from regaling me with any more of your 'delightful' anecdotes as I'm feeling quite nauseous?

Jack's pointed ears curled back and he seemed to shrink back in his seat at the thought of upsetting his alpha, the new Black King. He flung himself at Hank's feet kneeling in submission and presenting his throat to Hank offering him the chance to rip it out.

"I kneel before ya in surrender and submission Black King. I give my life fer ya ta end if that is yer wish. Please forgive me fer my disgraceful conduct."

"Stars and garters, there's no need for that and besides I'm a merciful man. I forgive you and I only ask that you don't talk any more about that sort of thing while we are enjoying our meal. Now please get up and don't you dare lick my boots!"

**Xavier Institute for Higher Learning**

Logan picked up the phone after hearing it ringing several rooms away. He growled when he heard Trish asking if Hank was there. He had never entirely been able to forgive her for breaking Hank's heart like that but he decided to hear her out. When Trish told him about Hank's bizarre behavior and how people had seemed to see things that weren't really there he had his suspicions. It was all too obvious that Selene was up to her tricks again and it was well within her capabilities to create illusions.

"Well darlin thanks fer the information but I'm warning ya ta keep away from Hank at least until Selene gets what's coming ta her. I'm warning ya though that if ya ever break my buddy's heart again I'm not going ta take too kindly to it."

Logan slammed the phone down and quickly went to Hank's room. The furry X-Man had left some time ago without telling anyone where he was going and Logan had a horrible suspicion about his location. His worst fears were confirmed when he found the note that Hank had left. What's more Logan was the only one of the team at home at present although there was one other person who might be able to help. As usual he found Bobby slumped in front of the television watching reruns. With a growl Logan went and turned off the set to a howl of protest from Iceman.

"Oh that's my favorite program Wolvster, why'd ya have to go and switch it off."

"I'll make it simple fer ya bub, Hank, big trouble, needs rescuing."

"Selene?"

"Yeah"

"What are you waiting for? Let's go and rescue our fuzzy blue friend."

**Hellfire Club**

Hank had finally persuaded Jack that he did not want to kill him and was now able to enjoy the dinner in peace. At least he would if Selene would keep her hands to himself, thankfully the Hellfire Club clothing he wore covered up most of his fur. Still whenever he let his attention wander for her, those fingers would go back to stroking his cheek, running through his mane, brushing against his hand and even scratching the back of his ear.

"Please Selene, would you mind keeping your hands of my fur thank you. After all I'm not a cat despite appearances."

"Oh but Hank fur as soft, luxuriant as yours and the temptation just proves too much for me. It's just such a delight to stroke your fur and I'm sure you find the experience as pleasurable as I do."

Hank sighed and decided that any further protests would be futile, best just to ignore it and hope that she lost interest. He got on with enjoying the fine cuisine, a gastronomic delight that would have enraptured any gourmand. Say what you like about Selene but she knew how to throw a party, centuries of experience showed in her choice of delectable food.

"I must say Selene that I am enjoying this meal immensely. Please give my compliments to the chef."

"Oh he always does his best Hank as though his life depended on it. In fact it does but he's going to live to see another day," laughed Selene pleasantly.

The door was opened as Hellfire Club guards entered bowing hastily as a late arriving guest was escorted through, the White Bishop Yuriko Oyama resplendent in an elegantly patterned silk kimono. The Japanese cyborg bowed and offered her sincere contrition for being late.

"Well at least you showed up this time. Lady Deathstrike meet the new Black King, Hank McCoy of the X-Men. Hank this is Yuriko who I'm not sure if you've met although she is intimately familiar to our feral friend Wolverine."

"Delighted to make your acquaintance ma'am, Logan has told me much about you."

"None of it good I presume Hank-san, still I am honored to be in your presence."

Yuriko took the seat next to Hank, extending her adamantium talons and skewering a bread roll. Blackheart gave a shriek of dismay at seeing the adamantium claws and tried to hide underneath the table. Meanwhile Jack decided this breach of table manners gave him carte blanche to do as he wished so he helped himself to Fitzroy's steak much to the green haired man's dismay. Fitzroy punched Jack on the nose and the man snarled and assumed his hybrid form.

"Black Rook, White Knight, cease this shameful conduct at once. This is no way to behave in front of our new Black King," called Martinique.

"No don't stop this is great," sighed Selene as she watched Jack forcing Fitzroy to repeatedly beg for mercy while holding the young man by the throat.

"I'm very sorry sir, I'm afraid it often gets like this," apologized De Costa.

"Oh I'm quite used to this sort of thing at home, usually when someone's helped themselves to Logan's beer," murmured Hank.

Jack glanced over at Hank cringed and shifted back to human form dropping the grateful Fitzroy before somewhat sheepishly going back to his meal. Selene decided that now might be a good time to bring out the Twinkies. That was sure to please Hank.

**Hellfire Club entrance**

"I'm afraid that since you're not wearing a tie we cannot allow you to enter our exclusive establishment. Also may I enquire if sir has ever thought of using a razor?"

Logan snarled at the bouncer who was obstinately blocking his way. Bobby who knew the warning signs decided to ice up before the inevitable. Sure enough Logan popped his claws and slashed straight through the man's tie before grabbing him roughly by the collar and pulling him close. 

"Ya got one chance ta get out of the way bub or it won't be yer tie that gets sliced next time."

"Y-yes s-sir of course, go right in," whispered the poor man before fainting dead away.

"Ya see Bobby I told ya I could get us in without resorting ta violence."

"Yeah right," muttered Bobby under his breath earning a glare and a snarl from Logan.

Stepping through the door they found a dozen guards waiting for them and a very familiar figure standing right beside them. Grinning the tall and burly feral nodded towards Logan who answered with his own savage grin. Bobby on the other hand felt like wetting his pants. 

"Well nice ta see ya again runt. Since I'm the Black Knight around here let me be the first ta give ya a proper Hellfire Club welcome," growled Sabretooth.

"Get ready ta rumble Creed. Bobby the guards are yours, leave Sabretooth ta me,"

"Believe me you're welcome to him."

** Back at dinner**

"So everybody here is either a mutant or has special abilities so I'm wondering Martinique what special talents you possess. Other than of course your stunning beauty and charming personality," said Hank in a silky smooth voice.

"I'm a telepath," said Martinique remembering not to say anything about her illusions. She had her suspicions though that Hank was already on to her.

Hank though was thinking very hard about just what the hell he had been thinking in coming here. He could only surmise that all the pressure had got so much that it had finally cost him his sanity. He had admittedly been through a lot what with being pursued by a lovesick External and a particularly debauched and diabolical one at that. His fur had been stroked without his permission; he'd suffered a near cardiac arrest on hearing off one of her favorite games that was so decadent and perverse that it had shocked even Logan. He'd nearly been decapitated by a berserk feral and his poor ears were still ringing with the shriek of fingernails on slate. Then there had been Trish's conduct in the restaurant so unlike her that it was unbelievable. It had been that that had finally made him decide to come to the Hellfire Club.

"Hmm maybe it was so unbelievable because that's precisely what it was. Now Marti's scent seems awfully familiar, the waitress at the restaurant! Now she says she's a telepath so maybe she was there influencing my mind and causing me to see things that weren't really there. Oh stars and garters I should have remembered that I already know about Marti. Jason Wyngarde's daughter, the new Mastermind who Logan and Remy met," thought Hank as his brilliant intellect deduced just what had happened. He gave a small growl angry at Selene's cheap tricks.

"Is everything alright Hank darling?"

"No everything is not alright Selene dear, oh my stars and garters!"

"No, not him!" screamed Blackheart vanishing as the wall burst inwards under a wave of ice.

Standing there was a bloodied battered but snarling and utterly ferocious Logan, shirt and jacket shredded much to Selene's delight. Next to him stood Bobby fully iced up and doing his best to look stern and menacing. Scattered around them were the unconscious forms of guards and Sabretooth who didn't seem to be doing anything much but bleeding for the foreseeable future. His healing factor was obviously working overtime to repair the nasty wounds that Logan had dealt him.

"You have vanquished Sabretooth Logan, now you get to be my new Black Knight!" crooned Selene.

"No way in hell Selene, we've come ta take back our friend and if ya think ya can stop us yer in fer a taste of claw city!"

"Yes you evil witch, you're not getting your hands on my Hank!" yelled Bobby.

"Why, he your boyfriend or something or does that honor go to Logan?" asked Fitzroy guilelessly.

"Thanks a lot mate, now I'm getting all sorts of images running through my head," growled Jack.

A snowball struck Fitzroy in the mouth and he was forced to spit out snow quite forgetting about his next witty comment. Actually that saved his life since Logan had decided that any more out of him would force him to shut Fitzroy up permanently.

"So these gaijin would dare attempt to break into the Hellfire Club, viciously assault our Black Knight and guards and then brazenly announce that they would attempt to kidnap our Black King. For this infamy you shall perish," hissed Lady Deathstrike charging at her oldest enemy.

"Yer wrong darlin, we've come ta make Hank come ta his senses and save him from the likes of yer Black Queen," growled Logan.

Then there were no more words as adamantium clashed against adamantium.

"Perhaps it would be better if I left with my friends and avoided any further bloodshed," suggested Hank hopefully.

"No they must be punished for their insolence," snarled Selene flinging a fireball at Bobby.

It struck him and with a hiss Bobby melted into a puddle. Just as quickly he reformed and gave her a wink and a grin. Summoning his power he froze Selene in a block of ice which just as quickly melted. The cycle began all over again and Hank shook his head sorrowfully. Seeing Mastermind standing nearby he placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up meeting his stern gaze.

"I suggest you try using your illusionary powers to bring this little conflict to a peaceful end."

She blinked once and Hank smiled as she realized that he knew about what she had done. Then she nodded and created the illusion of a recovered and berserk Victor Creed rampaging through the room that sent Fitzroy and De Costa running for their lives. Logan turned to chase after it and Yuriko stepped in to attack Bobby gradually driving him back before a massive ice floe sent her crashing through a wall.

"I'm sending you the bill for all this damage Iceman!" shrieked Selene.

"So sue me," laughed Bobby sticking out his tongue.

"Now are ya going to be a good doggy and surrender or shall we go fer three?" growled Logan. He had Jack pressed up against the wall with a claw on either side of his neck and the middle one just touching his throat.

"Uncle, I give," growled the werewolf.

"Selene, I've decided that this has all been a little too much for one day. Now you said I could leave if I wanted to so I'm afraid I must be going now. It's probably just as well since my friends seem rather insistent in wishing me to leave. Let's do this again some time but not for a while," called Hank and the battle halted immediately.

Selene smiled and walked over to the panting Logan who was now sitting catching his breath on top of the now broken table. Putting an arm around his shoulder she lovingly stroked the ebon muttonchops and the feral was too tired to protest.

"Well don't leave it too long Hank or I may decide that it will have to be Logan after all. Still you found this an interesting experience didn't you?"

"I can honestly say that memories of this night will haunt my dreams for years to come."

Bobby de-iced and rushed over to Hank flinging his arms around him, hugging him tightly and crushing his face against Hank's chest, tears running down his cheeks.

"Are you sure they're not gay?" muttered Fitzroy who decided it was finally safe to return.

"Hands of the sideburns darlin," snarled Logan unsheathing his claws.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again but you are so cute when you're angry," purred Selene. She was sad to see her beloved Hank was leaving but already a new plan was forming in her mind. Kidnap Logan and seducing him and having a wild night of passion with him would be very enjoyable and would be sure to make her Black King jealous. Yes Hank would be hers and soon.

"Oh Hank I'm so glad that you're alright. I just want you to know that you're the best friend I've ever had fuzz-ball," sobbed Bobby.

"Likewise Bobby but please stop hugging me quite so tightly since I'm finding it difficult to breathe. Also Fitzroy is giving us some very peculiar looks," 

"Now farewell Selene," called Hank trying to keep the glee out of his voice from uttering the words.

With that the three friends took their leave of the Black Queen and the Hellfire Club thankful to be alive. Logan paused only to kick Creed in the ribs while Bobby rapidly ate the sponge pudding he had surreptitiously stolen while Hank decided he would ring Trish when he got back. He didn't feel perhaps as bad about her troubles as he should have since she had broken his heart but still she hadn't really deserved any of this. Still perhaps after the fiasco that was the party Selene would have lost interest in him.

"There you are Blackheart. You missed out on all the fun."

"I suppose you have given up on Hank oh delightfully sensuous and depraved magnificence?"

"No I'm hoping to be seeing him again very soon. I can tell that he feels the same way about me, see the way he was trembling as we left and the tear in the corner of his eye. That was the grief at departing from my presence. 

Now that look he gave me as he said goodbye showed the anticipation of our next encounter. Yes he loves me my darling demon, he loves me a lot."

"Oh," sighed Blackheart. 

Fortunately he had finally managed to track down Dark Beast so he was going to have to pay him a visit very soon. Hopefully if miracles did still happen he might manage to prevent any more chaos. As of now he needed a bottle of Scotch, a dozen Prozac and his teddy, not necessarily in that order.


	6. We Bring You Hellfire

**We Bring You Hellfire**

****

"Martinique Jason I am pleased to appoint you the new White Rook. Just try not to have a complete nervous breakdown like your predecessor did. I think this is a reward you richly deserve for your masterful use of illusion to gain the heart of my Black King," purred Selene.

Mastermind nodded thoughtfully, Roberto's mental state had been rather delicate for a long time and the attack on the Hellfire Club by Iceman and Wolverine had been the straw that broke the camels back. They found him huddled under a table sobbing hysterically. Of course if she was now White Rook that meant the position of White Bishop was now open.

"Who were you thinking of sponsoring for my now vacant position?"

"I think we need another X-Man as it will please my darling Hank to have one of his friends as a member of the Inner Circle. Now I admire Logan and Bobby's courage in their audacious escapade so it will have to be one of them, probably that handsome feral. Now excuse me while I go and make a phone call to Hank and then send him a text message."

**X-mansion**

Poor Beak had once again been forced to flee for his life after making the mistake of asking Logan how hot he thought Selene was. The feral was still rather touchy about her stroking his sideburns without permission. A ferocious sneeze was heard as loose feathers tickled Logan's nose and the feral decided to let the poor sap go this time. After all Hank probably wouldn't take too kindly to having his pupils murdered.

"So you will be coming round here for dinner tomorrow at 9.00 pm precisely. Well thank you for the warning and believe me we will be well prepared for your arrival. Yes Selene the evening was certainly _unforgettable. Goodbye," Hank sighed and put the phone down before making a mental note to get some more aspirin in. After tomorrow he'd need it._

"Beak seems to have a thing about Selene Hank," said Bobby.

"Yes along with all the other male students, still it's not really so surprising. She's a very beautiful woman who likes to wear revealing clothing and is rather hmm shall we say forward in manner. Just the sort of thing to appeal to the adolescent male mind," sighed Hank.

"Yeah but ya have to watch it if you kiss her since she can suck the life out of you,"

"Yes she's an energy vampire among other things, now she seems to genuinely love me and I don't think she'd deliberately hurt me but I'm always afraid she'll forget herself when she kisses me and….."

Bobby remembered something else that had happened and looked utterly despondent. Hank put an arm around his shoulder and hugged his friend close to him. Bobby relaxed his head against Hank's shoulder, cheek brushing against the furry face and pulled a rather petulant face.

"Fitzroy thought I was gay Hank, now the whole Hellfire Club probably does too. Oh man how am I going to live this one down?"

"Well you did seem a little emotional when you embraced me and the comment about "you're not getting your hands on my Hank" could have been misconstrued."

At that point Logan came in growling under his breath. Moving over to the window he pulled the curtains open and pointed. Two pairs of eyes followed his accusing finger and then those eyes went wide in disbelief at the fabulous spectacle lighting up the night sky.

There high up in the sky in letters of flame hundreds of feet high and visible for miles around was a message.

**Hank and Selene**

**Black King and Black Queen**

**Love is eternal**

This was Selene's idea of sending Hank a text message.

"Well bless my stars and garters," moaned Hank suddenly feeling in need of a stiff drink.

**An unofficial meeting of the ****Inner Circle******

Victor Creed was feeling somewhat recovered from his fight now that his wounds were mostly healed. He had not been too happy when Selene had come to pay him a visit and had started stroking his sideburns and kissing his stubbly cheek. Actually he had been enjoying the attention until she had called him Logan by mistake. He was even angrier now at the thought of the runt joining the Hellfire Club as an equal. 

"I'm going ta rip his freaking head off and spit down his neck! Do ya hear me?"

"Now steady on mate, there is another one who could be just as suitable," soothed Jack.

"Pray tell us lycanthrope for I shall not abide the presence of the dishonorable gaijin Logan-san among our illustrious company," hissed Deathstrike.

"Bobby Drake also known as the Iceman was the other choice given to us. Now I'll admit he's not what you might think of as classic Hellfire material but I'm sure that we're all in agreement that he's a lot better than the alternative," said Fitzroy.

"If we have ta have another X-Geek I suppose he'll have ta do," sighed Jack.

"Don't ya worry Jack, we'll get ta rip him ta shreds if he doesn't measure up," growled Creed.

"So we are all in agreement that Bobby is the most suitable choice. Good the Black Queen can't overrule the unanimous decision of the entire Inner Circle. Now Blackheart is absent but since he's petrified of Logan he'll never agree to him being a member. Now all we need to do is go and make Iceman an offer he can't refuse," purred Mastermind.

"Yes Martinique-chan and if he does not agree then we shall slay him in righteous retribution for his assault upon the Hellfire Club."

"I hope not Yuriko since it would be a real shame to have to kill him. After all you have to admit that he is kind of cute," Martinique sighed dreamily.

**Back at the X-Mansion**

Logan was presently working his way through a six pack of beer while half watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Bobby. The revelation that Selene was going to be coming round for dinner tomorrow and there was no possible way to prevent it had not gone down very well at all with him. Deep gouges in the wall were a testament to his anger. Now his claws were sheathed as he had resigned himself to the fact that his life was once again hell.

"Ya know Bobby I think Selene must have a thing fer me as well. I mean she keeps stroking my sideburns and my stubble and she kept staring at my chest."

"I think it's those sleeveless vests you wear Wolvster. Perhaps you ought to keep one of those flannel shirts on and hope it discourages her. Still I thought you liked the ladies."

"Yeah well there are ladies and she ain't one. 'Sides she's one of the few women who are actually older than I am. Anyways she's Hank's woman and I ain't going ta cheat on a buddy."

"Yeah still at least I think that little stunt is the last we'll hear of Selene or the Hellfire Club tonight."

Logan nodded and allowed himself a grin. He took a sip from his beer and consoled himself by watching the vampires getting dusted and imaging Selene in their place. Actually he had been sort of flattered by the attention but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone especially not her. The last thing you wanted to do with Selene was to encourage her.

"You know they probably think we're all gay mutants or at least Fitzroy does. He thought either you or Hank was my boyfriend. I mean can you imagine that, like eww, I mean it's just too disturbing to even contemplate."

"Ya don't know the half of it Popsicle; count yerself lucky that ya didn't hear about that game of hers. If it wasn't fer the healing factor I'd have had a cardiac arrest."

**Hanks room**

Hank had just changed out of his Hellfire clothing and put it carefully away. He was presently attired in jeans and T-shirt and wondering whether to put on his X-Man uniform when he was grabbed from behind, forced against the bed and kissed so passionately that he nearly suffocated. Selene released him from the kiss and sat on the bed idly stroking the fur on his shoulder.

"I like seeing you in tight T-shirts Hank, shows off your muscles very nicely. Anyway I just wanted to know what you thought of the text message. I created a new spell for it, especially for you my Black King."

"Well it was a beautiful spectacle Selene and a magnificent and indeed awe inspiring spectacle. However it may have been a little public."

"Oh I shall want the whole world to know about our love darling Hank."

"Oh my stars and garters," groaned Hank flinging his head in his hands and incidentally giving Selene the opportunity to run her fingers through his mane.

"Stars and garters indeed Hank. Adieu handsome," she purred and with a last kiss on his cheek she departed.

There was a low repetitive thud as Hank began to bang his head against the wall but the only result was to give him a headache. Fortunately he had aspirin to hand, not that that would do anything for his real headache of the External variety.

Back in the lounge Bobby was stretched out on the sofa having succumbed to exhaustion. Logan was pacing around the room deciding what to do and finally coming to a decision.

"I'll go out in the garden fer a walk ta clear my head."

Hearing a knock at the door he opened it revealing a small gaggle of students who sheepishly admitted that they had just come back from partying. With puppy dog eyes they beseeched him not to tell Scott or they would be in trouble. Logan gave them a menacing growl and stepped aside to let them pass paying them no further heed. Little did he know that he had fallen victim to one of Masterminds illusions and that he had just let most of the Inner Circle into the mansion.

**Rec Room**

"So this slovenly, unshaven immature and did I forget to mention that he's a prankster, lovable loser is going to be the new White Bishop of the Hellfire Club. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel aren't we? Also are you sure he isn't gay?" asked Fitzroy.

"Fitzroy ya really do have a filthy mind ya know," growled Jack.

"Thank you for the charming compliment," said Fitzroy with complete sincerity.

"Shall I go and wake the runt up?"

"No Creed we're all easily recognizable as enemies and I'm too busy maintaining the illusion of us not being here to interfere. Jack you'll have to be the one, go over and just wake him up gently. I'll go and tell our Black King of the latest recruit," ordered Martinique.

Jack nodded and his hairy face assumed its best attempt at a friendly grin. Unfortunately his fangs made it more frightening than comforting but at least he was trying his best. He crept stealthily towards Bobby and reaching down with a clawed hand began very gently to shake Bobby's shoulder.

"Come on mate, wake up cause we've got something ta tell ya,"

"Ten more minutes mum," murmured Bobby sleepily.

He opened bleary eyes blinking once or twice and trying to focus. Looking up he saw Jack's face peering down at him, taking in feral hazel eyes, prominent canines, copious stubble and impressive sideburns he leapt to the logical conclusion.

"Why'd ya have to wake me up Logan? I was having this brilliant dream. Wait since when did Logan have brown hair and you're even hairier than he is," gulped Bobby.

"Now steady-"

Too late as Bobby screamed his head off and dived for cover behind the sofa.

"Well that could have gone better," muttered Jack pointed ears curling back in embarrassment.

**Outside in the garden**

Logan was sitting in the tree eyes shut in contentment listening to the calls of the nocturnal wildlife and smelling the delicious scents that wafted to him on the night breeze. He opened his eyes and threw back his head, howling heartily at the moon and drowning out Bobby's terrified yells. Logan relaxed pulling his Stetson down to cover his eyes and folding his arms behind his head, leaning back against the sturdy branch for a well deserved nap.

Before he could react the tree suddenly came alive around him, branches growing with unnatural speed and wrapping around his ankles and wrists twisting his arms around so that using his claws would mean he stabbed himself through the back. In short order he was completely helpless and could only howl and snarl in frustration.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you really are cute when you're angry," laughed Selene alighting on a branch next to Logan.

"I'm going to rip yer freaking head off fer this ya bitch," 

"Hush now handsome," whispered Selene cupping a hand under Logan's stubbly chin and kissing him firmly on the cheek.

Then she settled back and started stroking her helpless captive's sideburns.

**Hanks room**

Hank had been peacefully reading one of his Tom Clancy novels when Mastermind entered the room and proudly announced to her Black King that they were just inducting Bobby Drake as the new White Bishop. To say that he was displeased about the Hellfire Club intruding in the mansion was putting it mildly. Now he had been distracted by loud growls coming from outside and was looking out of the window.

"What's happening your hirsute handsomeness?" asked Martinique.

"It seems that the Black Queen has entrapped Logan and is taking full advantage of the opportunity. I don't think he's too happy about it from the sounds of things."

"May I enquire as to why you are so jovial at the moment?"

"Because my dear at least while she is distracted by Logan that means she is out of my fur."

**Recreation room**

"So basically you're saying that I have no other choice but to join the Hellfire Club as White Bishop," said Bobby nervously.

"Look mate we don't want ta put ya under any pressure," soothed Jack.

"Of course the choice is entirely yours," said Fitzroy.

"However Bobby-san I would strongly recommend you accept our generous offer lest we decide you need further persuasion," purred Yuriko.

"Ya see bub I'm going ta be the one ta persuade yer, fer yer own good of course. Somehow though I don't think ya would like that," growled Creed.

"Well if you put it like that how can I refuse? Alright I accept the position of White Bishop in the Hellfire Club. Now would you please take your claws away from my throat?"

Sabretooth gave a little rumbling growl that was almost a purr and released Bobby from his grip. Yuriko kissed Bobby on the cheek while Fitzroy shook him by the hand. Finally Jack gave him a friendly pat on the back that knocked the breath from his lungs.

"I think yer going ta fit in fine mate," said Jack with a friendly grin.

"If I can only get my breath back that is," gasped Bobby.

**Somewhere else**

McCoy also known as the Dark Beast grinned menacingly at the cowering demon, yellow eyes gleaming with savage delight as he reveled in Blackhearts fear. The dark furred mutant patted the demon gently on the head and Blackheart nearly fainted. Dark Beast was even more frightening to the poor demon than Logan was.

"I will consider your intriguing offer with great interest Blackheart. Perhaps now that Magneto and Apocalypse are no more it is time for me to take a position of power. Who did you say the current Black King was?"

"Hank McCoy sir," stuttered Blackheart.

That clinched it for Dark Beast. He readily agreed to meet with Selene with only one additional condition to his joining the Hellfire Club. That he personally would be the one to kill Hank. However he grabbed Blackheart by the throat and pulled him close mere inches from his furry face. He opened his jaws wide revealing his sharp fangs and spoke in the iciest of whispers.

"Beware little imp if you try to deceive me. Know that my wrath will be swift and terrible and I have always wanted to dissect a demon."

Blackheart wondered whether this had been such a good idea after all.


	7. A Beast's Lot Is Not A Happy One

**A Beast's Lot Is Not a Happy One**

****

**A tree in the mansion grounds**

"Now Logan I know you're enjoying this really. Now let's see how quickly I can get the tension out of those arms. Look at how tightly knotted your muscles have got, a little massage ought to do the trick."

Logan growled at Selene, he had to really strain to keep from popping his claws. Still at least for the moment she had stopped touching his muttonchops, no-one was allowed to stroke those without his permission on pain of getting a claw through the heart. He let the anger fill him as with a burst of adrenalin he burst his arm free of the confining branches and slashed at Selene with his claws extended.

"Oh you look so primal, so feral, and so sexy. Oh sh-," yelped Selene as adamantium claws slashed through wood and the branch she was sitting on was severed. The External plunged to the ground to land in an awkward heap right outside the window of the kitchen in which several male students were sitting.

After overcoming their momentary awe of seeing the falling Selene they all wanted to be the one to help her. A brief scuffle ensued but after a few minutes Beak came over to the window opened it and popped his head out.

"Do you need any help babe, err I mean Selene," stuttered Beak somewhat distracted by the fact that Selene's cleavage had slipped slightly.

"Thanks for the offer but I'm fine. It seems that Logan likes to play rough."

"Well looks like I'm going ta have ta get a new shirt again, and a new vest. Why is it that I always seem ta be getting torn shirts every time I get in a fight? Makes ya wonder sometimes. Alright bub yer the best there is at what ya do so getting out of a tree's gonna be a cakewalk."

To the sound of splintering wood Logan broke free of the confining tree, all of him except his boots that is. With a grunt and further straining off his thigh muscles he pulled free. One of Logan's boots flew off one hitting Beak right in the well beak and the feral himself fell out of the tree landing right on top of Selene and the two rolled into a bush in a tangled heap.

"Flamin hell, this ain't good."

"Well I didn't think you were _this keen," gasped a somewhat breathless Selene._

**Bobby's room**

"Are you sure I've got to dress up like this? I feel ridiculous," whined Bobby as he glanced down at the Hellfire Club costume which had been provided for him. A growl and a glare from Creed forestalled his further protests and after throwing it on as quickly as he could he admired his reflection in the mirror. Admittedly he could do with a shave and he still looked somewhat slovenly but he had to admit he looked surprisingly good in it. Still he'd much prefer to be in jeans and a T-shirt.

"Well ya look almost presentable now don't ya Popsicle. Now yer going ta come with us fer a little inauguration."

"What does that involve Sabes?" asked Bobby nervously.

"Basically mate ya come with us fer a drink or two and usually we'd have a little party," said Jack.

"I think there's some pizza in the kitchen and I know there's a couple of six packs. Only problem is that Scott, Jean and Emma are due back from their mission at any moment. Considering the present um tensions between them they're not likely to be in the mood for having guests," said Bobby hoping they'd decide it was best to leave preferably immediately.

"Relax Bobby-san, they should have no problem with us visiting our fellow Hellfire Club members and pizza will do fine," said a smiling Yuriko.

Bobby gave her a tight nod and fixed a sort of desperate grin on his face as Jack and Creed took him by the arms and guided him gently and firmly in the direction of the kitchen. The werewolf seemed quite affable but Bobby wished that Creed would stop looking at his throat quite so thoughtfully, it made him very nervous. His mood wasn't improved when Fitzroy gave him a calculating look and asked him something which had apparently been preying on his mind.

"Bobby are you sure you're not gay?" asked Fitzroy to which Bobby gave a growl worthy of Sabretooth.

"I'll take that as a no then shall I?" mumbled Fitzroy as he suddenly found himself with a beard full of icicles.

**Hanks room**

Hank heard the low rumble of the Blackbird coming into land and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He had been having an interesting conversation with Martinique but he would sooner not have Hellfire Club members running about all over the mansion. In particular he felt extremely worried about how well Bobby's sanity would emerge intact from his experiences.

"I think my fellow X-Men are returning and it would be best for you to depart now dear. Stars and garters, what on earth are you doing now?"

"I'm just brushing out your mane for you Hank, it's got a bit tangled," explained Martinique as she set to work with the hairbrush.

**Back outside in the garden**

"Oh my god, she's trying to seduce him! Don't worry Logan I'll save you from that witch," called Jean.

Logan had been desperately trying to fend off Selene with his claws but he was still somewhat groggy from the fall and Selene had taken the opportunity to kiss him, draining just enough life energy to leave him feeling quite exhausted. The other kisses had been deep and passionate but otherwise harmless. However she had started stroking his sideburns again.

"Logan isn't yours to take Jean! Besides you've already got a husband of your own," snapped Selene throwing one of her fireballs at Jean. A telekinetically hurled broken tree branch struck her on the head and stunned her.

"Oh Logan I'm here for you now, you poor man, whatever has she done to you," cried Jean.

"Please take yer hands of me darlin, I really ain't in the mood fer women at the moment," moaned Logan rising to his feet.

"Well I suppose that's about what we could expect from that bitch, taking men who don't belong to her," said Emma.

"Actually I thought that was your department," snapped Jean and a fight promptly broke out between them.

"Well it looks as though the feral is all worn out, a shame but here's another man. Well Scott if you're having trouble with the women in your life why not try me," began Selene but Scott's only reply was an optic blast that sent her flying back through the trees.

"Come on Logan let's get you a drink while we leave those two to sort themselves out," said Scott helping Logan with a supporting arm.

"Yeah I've got a six pack in the fridge that ya welcome ta share with me,"

**Hanks room**

Mastermind smiled down at Hank as he snoozed gently on his bed. As she had brushed out his mane she'd sent him soothing thoughts with her telepathy, creating the illusion that he was in a calm peaceful place and helping him to forget his stress. Finally he had stumbled over to the bed, curled himself up and was now fast asleep. It was the least that she could do for her Black King.

"Yes now you will have pleasant dreams darling Hank and I'll see you tomorrow when we come for tea. Goodnight dear Black King," whispered Martinique kissed him on the cheek before giving the soft blue fur one final stroke.

"My dear just because I'm amusing myself with a certain feral does not give you liberty to try and advance to White Queen by snuggling up with my Black King."

Mastermind sighed as she turned to see Selene standing there looking absolutely livid. Thinking swiftly she decided the best tactic was to tell her the truth, emphasizing that having a good nights sleep would mean Hank would be more up to coping with having Selene coming for tea tomorrow. The Black Queen nodded and gave Hank a rueful smile.

"Well he looks pretty peaceful; I expect he's dreaming of me."

"Actually in a way he is," said Martinique, her scan of his mind revealed that Hank was dreaming about Selene being banished to Limbo while Hank enjoyed the pleasant company of Cecilia Reyes.

"Well I think Bobby should do as the White Knight so we might as well leave him to enjoy his party while we get back to the Club. There you will have the very important job of helping me decide what to wear tomorrow."

With that she teleported herself and Mastermind back to the Hellfire Club mansion.

**Main entrance**

"I don't know why they all keep glaring at me like that. What did I do, drown their puppy or something?" asked Scott.

"I don't think they liked what ya did ta Selene," growled Logan.

Scott shook his head in bemusement and together he and Logan wandered through to the kitchen. Opening the door they received the shock of their lives when a rather enthusiastic Yuriko embraced Logan kissed him and then turned away in disgust. Logan snarled at her but the cyborg ignored him and then kissed Scott. 

Jack and Creed had wolfed down most of the food in the fridge and were presently eating raw meat in a manner which made Scott's stomach turn. Fitzroy and Bobby seemed rather the worse for drink and were presently dancing on the table and singing old Beatles songs out of tune. Logan snarled and leapt at Creed and Jack and a brief if bloody battle ensued.

"Scott-san you are so handsome, I will kiss you again."

"I really didn't think it was possible for a cyborg to get drunk," was the only reply that Scott could think of.

"Well this really is the limit husband dear, bad enough that you cheat on me with Selene without adding Lady Deathstrike, am I that bad that you prefer Robotramp here?"

"Jean, listen this isn't what you think," gulped Scott.

This time Scott suffered a severe concussion and needed three stitches from getting his head smashed against the wall. Jean had perhaps overdone the telekinesis a little in her anger. On seeing this little display Fitzroy and Yuriko instantly sobered up and after dragging a reluctant Jack and Creed away from an even more reluctant Logan made a swift getaway by smashing down the door and fleeing into the night.

"Well Bobby you have a lot of explaining to do," said Emma.

"W-well ya know it's rather a funny story,"

Bobby was fortunate and only suffered a minor concussion and needed no stitches at all.

**Dark Beast's lair**

"Now how do I look?" asked McCoy.

Blackheart had to admit that McCoy was at least looking a lot neater now. His gray fur had been brushed to perfection and with sideburns and goatee trimmed to a reasonable length and hair pulled back into a ponytail he actually bore a freakish resemblance to Sebastian Shaw. Well if Sebastian Shaw hadn't shaved for at least a few years, been a werewolf or yeti the resemblance would have been exact. It had also surprised Blackheart when McCoy dug out the business suit since he would hardly have expected him to have an Armani one.

"You look magnificent most gloriously furry master," said Blackheart.

"Well I always dress for the occasion. Now I just need a touch of my cologne," 

"The smell is most unusual but most pleasing none the less hirsuteness. May I enquire as to whether it is of your own creation?"

"Actually it's called Eau de Beast and is based on one designed by my alter ego a couple of years back. Refined and improved by me,"

Blackheart nodded absently and then jumped six feet up in the air when McCoy patted him on the back and draped a friendly arm across his shoulder.

"No need to get so nervous demon, I was just getting friendly."

"Yes of course you were exalted one. What are your wishes now my furry master?" twittered the nervous demon.

"Well the night is young and I'm in the mood for partying so why don't you come with me and we'll have a blast."

Deciding he had no other choice Blackheart reluctantly accompanied McCoy as they headed up out of the sewers and into the streets above. With the image inducers he produced for them they managed to pass for human. Together the mismatched pair set off in search for a tavern eventually arriving at Harry's Hideaway. There McCoy switched off the image inducer as he was a regular here.

"Hello McCoy what are you and your friend having tonight?" asked Harry the bartender.

"The usual for me and a martini for my friend," said McCoy.

"Isn't he bothered by the fact that we well look a bit different from his regular clientele?" asked Blackheart popping a few Prozac.

"Oh he's used to mutants my dear demon and you look no more diabolical than Nightcrawler," laughed McCoy heartily.

**The next day**

The Hellfire Club had quite a busy day with many of the guards requiring hospital treatment they had to draft in new ones. There was also a lot of repair work to be done with Creed and Jack being drafted in to help while Fitzroy and Yuriko were nursing severe hangovers and also wishing the ground would open up and swallow them. Especially Lady Deathstrike who felt dishonored by flirting with gaijin dogs although Fitzroy wished he hadn't started saying he was Han Solo and would Bobby be his Chewbacca. Martinique was helping Selene prepare her clothes for the big night ahead. Since they had visited the mansion last night there was a slight change of plan, the Inner Circle were going on a mystery trip.

Hank had woken up a much happier man having had a peaceful night's sleep and pleasant dreams. He felt an old familiar tug in his heart and he realized he was starting to fall in love again. The only worrying thing was that it seemed to be with Martinique Jason. Still at least it wasn't with Selene so that was something to be thankful for. Over breakfast he had enquired after Logan's health and the feral had given him a wolfish grin.

"Lets just say that since ya were asleep and I was the only male not in the doghouse and they thought I'd had a rough time that Emma and Jean were outdoing themselves trying ta look after me. Ya know a fellow could get used ta this,"

Indeed even though he had made a full recovery Emma and Jean were still busy looking after Logan. Logan did his best to look vulnerable and in need of tender loving care, enjoying the attention. The only annoyance was Beak asking him how good a kisser Selene was. Still when threatened with having Logan's boot shoved right into his beak and down his throat he wisely refrained from further discussion of Selene. Logan had a rather good day.

Bobby and Scott also recovered under Hank's expert care and while Bobby was excused since he was Bobby and rather immature, it was a different matter for Scott. Fortunately for him a mission in England required his assistance so along with Warren, Kurt, Xorn, Stacey X and Chamber he set off. They were going up against Mister Sinister but that was a lot safer than being around Jean and Emma in their present mood.

"Well Hank at least you've got a buddy in the Hellfire Club now. Still I don't think we'll be hearing from them again in a while. Hey why are ya glaring at me like that old buddy?" asked Bobby.

"The reason Robert Drake is that every time I've thought that or said something along those lines, you know who pops up."

At that moment Selene materialized on the sofa in front of them wearing one of her dresses that could easily have passed for lingerie. She smiled at Hank and Bobby and beckoned them towards her.

"Stars and garters, what I wonder will we be doing this time?" asked Hank dreading the answer.

"That darling is a surprise, now we're all going and as you can see all the Inner Circle is here. Although Blackheart seems to have vanished again but who cares about him."

"Well are ya ready fer a little mystery trip?" asked Jack. He was standing with Fitzroy, Mastermind, Yuriko and Creed.

"We don't really have a choice now do we," sighed Bobby.

"Ya got it in one mate," replied the werewolf.

"Well let's get on with it. Stars and garters, a Beast's life is not a happy one," moaned Hank.

Selene simply smiled and with a quick incantation the Inner Circle vanished on a mystery trip. The only thing Hank knew is that he would doubtlessly not be pleased with their destination.


	8. Croc Hunter Blues

**Croc Hunter Blues**

****

**Australia******

"Crikey would you take a look at these gorgeous critters that've just turned up out of nowhere. This is Steve Irwin and have we got a treat for you!"

The middle of a production of a Crocodile Hunter program had not been Selene's intended destination with her spell. Now they were in the zoo surrounded by the wire enclosures holding crocodiles, wallabies and other Australian wildlife, a production crew and an intrepid Australian whose camcorder seemed transfixed by Selene's cleavage.

"Oh stars and garters, I can't think of a worse place where we could have ended up," muttered Hank. Suddenly he was leapt on by Steve who tried unsuccessfully to wrestle him to the ground so that the camera crew could take a closer look at him.

"Blimey, take a load of this gorgeous critter. Now he's a big furry cat guy and that big blonde cat guy must be his mate," gasped Steven breathlessly as Hank tried futilely to dislodge him.

"Oh mental image, not good, urgent need to throw up," gagged Fitzroy.

"Hands off my Black King you annoying little man!" shouted Selene.

A furious Sabretooth came to Hank's rescue, snarling with rage at being thought of as Beast's mate. He grabbed hold of Steve, frightened screams, snarls, ripping and tearing and it was over. Steve was flung into a crocodile enclosure while Creed started chasing some of the camera crew. Lady Deathstrike enraged by a camera trying to peer down her cleavage was busy trashing the rest of the cameras. Selene and Mastermind were going over to see to Hank while Fitzroy was being quietly sick in a corner unaware that he was being filmed.

"Do ya think we ought to ta rescue Steve Irwin mate?" asked Jack.

"Nah, he's even harder to kill than the Wolvster, he'll be fine," said Bobby.

"Now you two seem like nice young men. Would you like to come and join me for a nice cup of tea and some cookies and we can have a bit of a chat?" called Terri Irwin.

Jack and Bobby exchanged glances and then shrugged. Compared to her husband a werewolf and a mutant probably seemed fairly normal. Seeing that Terri was probably the safest company at the moment they decided to take her up on her offer.

**Back at the mansion**

"Now there really is no need to be afraid my dear demon. After all you said yourself that if Selene wasn't at the Hellfire Club this would be where we were most likely to find her. Now just relax and let me do the talking," soothed McCoy.

"B-but w-what if we m-meet L-l-Logan or J-j-jean or Emma Frost or something," stuttered Blackheart.

"The cologne I'm wearing has the effect on feral's causing them to become placid and peaceful so you have no reason to fear Logan while you're with me. Also it increases my allure to women and Emma is an old friend. Finally we are offering a potential solution to a major problem which should make them benevolent to us,"

Dark Beast sighed as Blackheart quickly used his powers to become temporarily invisible. McCoy strode through the corridors remembering the layout from his previous stay at the mansion. Whistling a tune he paused as he saw he was being watched intently by one of the young male students a fellow with scrawny white feathers and a prominent beak. Racking his brain McCoy realized this must be Hank's personal student Beak.

"Hello I was wondering if you could tell me where Selene is," said McCoy with a good attempt at a friendly grin.

"Oh she had to leave but I hope she comes back. She's so beautiful and it's my teacher she's got a thing for. I just wish she could kiss me."

"So she's not here then. Thank you for your time," McCoy turned to leave when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He growled and turned to glare at Beak.

"Kindly remove your hand from me boy, I have killed men for lesser insolence than yours."

"Please don't kill me; I just wanted to ask if you're related to Hank. You look a lot like him except you're a lot cooler,"

Looking into those eyes McCoy saw open admiration. It was clear that a lot of the students idolized Beast for his strength, agility and intelligence. Beak probably saw the same things in him and it was rather flattering to have an admirer. McCoy patted Beak on the head and favored him with a grin.

"Dear boy you get to live today and perhaps tomorrow."

With that he turned and left followed by the still invisible demon while gazed after the object of his new found hero worshipping.

**Crocodile Hunter's lair**

Hank was feeling somewhat more relaxed now that he was on his own with just Martinique for company. They had found a nice shady tree to sit under and Hank was watching a lion pacing in its enclosure. He was feeling much the same as the cat, closed in without any means to escape. Having Selene interested in you was like being a fish swimming in a tank with a cat peering in at you. 

Selene had seemed quite distraught at her spell going wrong since her intended destination had been the Negative Zone. She had detected outside interference so she had gone to find out what had been causing it. Sabretooth was still tracking down the remaining camera crew while Yuriko and Fitzroy, embarrassed by their conduct had gone off to be alone. Jack and Bobby had last been seen leaving in the company of Terri Irwin while Steve had been carted off on a stretcher. 

"You know Hank it's good to finally be alone since there's something I've got to tell you."

"Actually Marti I was thinking the same thing."

They looked into each others eyes and something passed between them. She came over to him staring up into his yellow eyes while he stared right back at her. She smiled taking his paws and leaning close to him while he leant towards her. Their lips met and they kissed once seeming surprised at what they had done so they did it again. Of course it wasn't a romantic kiss since they couldn't possibly see anything in each other but one of friendship and support.

"Stars and garters, I don't believe we just did that."

"Well we did Hank so we'd better make sure Selene doesn't find out."

**Somewhere close by**

"Come on out, I know you're there and I'm mad. Just come out so that I can kill you alright!"

There was a chuckle and a ghastly looking creature suddenly came into view. Selene gasped in amazement at seeing a woman who was in worse taste than she was. She was wearing similarly revealing clothes to Selene but unlike her she didn't have the figure for it and pink and red was quite a ghastly combination on her. There was far too much makeup and it was obvious from all her wrinkles that she was an old woman.

"Hello Selene I thought we would meet one day. I'm Cassandra Nova and now that Magneto and Apocalypse are no more I am the most powerful mutant alive. Now you are a potential threat to me and since I'm a jealous woman this planet isn't big enough for the both of us sister."

"Those my dear are fighting words!"

"Oh did I hurt your feeling you witch?"

"No a dowdy frump like you could never manage that."

"Why you little bitch!" hissed Cassandra.

"That's it you stepped over the line!" snarled Selene.

At once a furious battle ensued.

**Back at the mansion**

Logan had just been enjoying a beer when suddenly he caught the faintest stench of brimstone mixed with the smell of fear. That combination could mean only one thing, Blackheart was close by. He could detect another scent as well similar to Hank but subtly different. Growling he unsheathed his claws, thoughts of savage and bloody combat filling his mind. Then those thoughts slowly vanished from his mind as an unfamiliar calm came over him and a smile spread across his hairy face. He crept to the door and swung it open nearly giving McCoy a cardiac arrest and causing him to leap to the ceiling where he hung on for dear life.

"Good ta see ya Dark Beast and ya might as well show yourself Blackheart, I can smell ya from here."

"Please don't kill me I beg of you," whimpered Blackheart.

"Relax I ain't gonna kill ya this time and in fact why don't ya join me fer a drink," said Logan with a friendly grin.

This proved all too much for the demons nerves and he fainted dead away. Dark Beast shook his head sadly and jumped down landing neatly beside Logan. It seemed quite safe now as the feral was obviously feeling tranquil and therefore unlikely to use his claws.

"What are ya doing here fuzz-ball? Nice suit by the way."

"Thank you Logan, I would like to have a talk with you and the delightful Emma Frost if I may."

A short time later he was sharing a cup of tea with Emma while Jean was stroking Logan's sideburn which he didn't seem to mind. In actual fact Logan quite liked the attention, he just didn't like people touching his muttonchops without his permission. Dark Beast quickly explained his attentions, emphasizing that if he became the Black King it would mean his counterpart would no longer suffer Selene's attentions and that she would probably lose interest in the X-Men altogether. 

"So you see everyone is a winner in the end Emma and nobody has to get hurt. You know I remember when we first met and I protected you when you needed it the most and you helped me with my memory. I've always been fond of you Emma; in fact you've been like a daughter to me. It's because of this that I'm willing to make this supreme sacrifice and by helping out the X-Men I hope to partially redeem my shameful past. Like you I now find myself regretting my past misdeeds and I want to become a better man."

It was all lies of course but McCoy had a way with words and what he had said about Emma was true. She was smiling at him and he knew she was reliving those fond memories. The cologne as well was helping and finally she nodded.

"Well I must be crazy to be even thinking this but yes I think it's a great idea."

Dark Beast smiled and held out his massive hand. Emma's slender hand was engulfed by it as they shook hands in agreement. With a fond farewell McCoy rose to leave the room feeling very pleased knowing that soon he would have all the power he ever wanted. Never realizing the danger he wandered straight past the female student's dormitory.

**Australia******

"You're quite right Bobby; this is an excellent cup of tea. Thank you Mrs. Irwin for your splendid hospitality and I must say that it is nice to find a human as tolerant of mutants as you are," said Hank.

"Well actually you are rather cute for a furry blue lion guy. Besides when you've got a husband like mine you tend to long for intelligent civilized company. I mean you get more sense out of the dog than you ever do out of him," sighed Terri.

"How would you like to join the Hellfire Club? We've an opening for a new White Queen," asked Fitzroy.

"Actually I think she's got enough to put up with without inflicting something like that on her," said Bobby.

Fitzroy sighed and then turned to Hank anxious for him to answer his latest burning question.

"Hank are you sure that you're not gay? I mean I keep seeing you and Creed and it's not a pretty picture."

There was a growl and a loud thump as Jack lost his temper and punched Fitzroy in the jaw with all his considerable strength. The poor man fell to the ground out cold, his last conscious thought being relief that Creed hadn't heard him. At least he still had all his internal organs intact. 

"Sorry about that mate but yaw can be a little annoying ya know," growled an apologetic Jack.

Hank stood up and went over to the window looking outside at the animals in their enclosures. Sabretooth was now fast asleep curled up underneath a tree while Yuriko was still pursuing the last cameraman who was now cornered up against the alligator enclosure. The man was obviously wondering which would be safer, the alligators or the angry cyborg. If he was sensible he would choose the alligators. Hank sighed and shook his head.

"What's troubling you Black King?" asked Mastermind.

"I'm just wondering what Selene is up to at the moment," said Hank.

**Somewhere close by**

"My goodness who would have thought that," laughed Selene.

Her fireball had set Cassandra Nova's hair alight and she had torn the wig off to stamp it out. Revealed for the entire world to see was the fact that she was completely bald. The woman looked up at her with a murderous expression.

"You will die by my hand when next we meet Selene," she hissed before disappearing in a huff.

"Well I'll go and tell my darling Hank of my glorious victory. Then to celebrate we'll depart for somewhere a little more romantic with the Inner Circle of course. I think Paris should do very nicely."

**Outside the female students dormitories**

"Oh stars and garters, someone help me please!" cried a frantic McCoy who was now backed up against a wall. The cologne had proved to have an overwhelming effect on the young female students, they had swarmed out of the dormitory and were now surrounding Dark Beast.

"Well now we've got someone we can drool over," said one of the Stepford Cuckoos.

"He is quite cute and handsome in a sort of psychotic werewolf way," said another.

"Just look at those muscles," said another.

"I just want to stroke that dreamy gray fur, I bet its soft," said Angel.

The students moved closer hands outstretched as they began to gently stroke his fur. Beak popped his head around the corner.

"Don't worry sir I'll save you," he called.

"Actually this is quite nice," replied Dark Beast resigning himself to his fate.

**Crocodile Hunters Lair**

"Well goodbye ma'am and thank you for the cup of tea and the conversation," called Hank as he was literally dragged away by Selene to join the rest of the gathered Inner Circle.

"Now I'm going to get it right this time and I promise you this Hank, you are going to love it," said Selene.

"Where are we going then?"

"Paris."

**Somewhere else**

Cassandra Nova was angry and already she was plotting her revenge. Her eyes lighted up with unholy glee as she worked out the best way to get her own back on Selene.

"Yes I will take her precious Black King and make him mine. Hank will never belong to you Selene and I will be the one he loves! Yes revenge will be sweet indeed," she cackled.

Then she shrugged and smiled to herself.

"Besides I can't wait to stroke that soft blue fur."

Hank's troubles had only just begun.


	9. Beauty Of The Beasts

**The Beauty of the Beasts**

****

**Paris******

Hank had to admit that Selene had finally shown some common sense in dropping off the rest of the Inner Circle back at the Hellfire Club, they might avoid further trouble that way. She had also displayed excellent taste in choosing this very classy and expensive restaurant. From their table by a window he could make out the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and other famous landmarks. He had been quite surprised that they had been let in so quickly given his leonine appearance and Selene's clothes but she had talked to the bouncer and people were practically falling over themselves to serve them. Also people kept coming up to him, trying to touch his fur and look at his fangs.

"Just what did you tell them Selene?"

"I told them that we were actors portraying the leads in a new live action Beauty and the Beast film. They believe you are Pierce Brosnyn in costume," explained Selene.

"Stars and garters," murmured Hank.

Then the waiter arrived bearing their meal so Hank decided he might as well settle down and enjoy the meal and hope that Selene didn't spring any more surprises on him.

**The mansion**

"Well yeah apart from the fact that someone stole my jacket, my shirt got ripped and that my head-fur is now bleached blonde I'd say I got of lightly. Is there a reason why you're trying to give me this titanium baseball bat?" asked Dark Beast.

"It's my most treasured possession Mr. McCoy and I want you to hold it. Oh and have you seen your sideburns?" said Beak pushing the baseball bat into McCoy's hands.

"Stars and garters, they seem a bit ragged don't they? I swear they seemed to pull out so much fur that it's a wonder I'm not bald," 

Dark Beast sighed heavily and made his way to the kitchen sure to remember next time to keep away from adolescent females. Fortunately they were now safely locked away in their dormitory looking over their prizes, Angel now wore Dark Beast's jacket while the Stepford Cuckoos were fighting amongst themselves over who got which bit of fur or fragment of cloth torn from their idol. The rest of them were enthusing over how soft his fur was and how generally Dark Beast had usurped Logan's position as most adored man.

"Oh you poor baby, here let me give you a beer. You poor thing, just sit back and let me take care of you," said Jean sympathetically when McCoy arrived in the kitchen. Dark Beast meekly did as he was told and sipped the beer contentedly although he flinched slightly when Jean sat down next to him. Fortunately she didn't do anything to his fur but proceeded to tell him all about her marital problems in great detail. 

Meanwhile Scott and Xorn had arrived back at the mansion where they were met by Emma Frost as there was a very special patient for Xorn to see. The unfortunate Blackheart had suffered a complete nervous breakdown and was now completely catatonic and needed Xorn's healing powers if he was to recover. Emma had probed his mind telepathically and come up with a surprising revelation. Blackheart had requested asylum and that he wanted to renounce his formerly evil ways and join the X-Men.

"Well some of the teams have had alien members before like Cerise and Warlock, even Longshot for that matter. Many of us have been reformed villains before including you Emma so a demon shouldn't be too different. By the way where are Bobby and Hank?" asked Scott.

"They apparently went off with the rest of the Hellfire Club but Hank is here in a manner of speaking," said Emma.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Dark Beast is here,"

"Dark Beast, you mean Hank's evil twin who caused us so much trouble when he showed up incognito. I hope he's safely locked up."

"Actually Beak seems to have taken a liking to him, he's been a big hit with the female students and he's in the kitchen at the moment drinking beer and discussing your marital problems with Jean."

"Oh my god, I thought it was bad enough having Selene keep appearing and trying to seduce anything with testosterone and the entire Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club having a party in the kitchen. This ends here and now," snarled Scott as he strode off determinedly towards the kitchen.

"I will go and see to our demon and later I will see Scott, he may give himself a cardiac arrest," said Xorn.

**Hellfire Club**

Yuriko and Martinique were presently changing into evening attire ready a quiet dinner of their own with Creed, Bobby, Fitzroy and Jack. Yuriko was engaged in the time consuming task of varnishing her nails, adamantium talons extended to full length and she was painting them a tasteful shade of mauve. She looked quite elegant in her crimson and gold kimono and her hair was in a traditional Japanese style. Tonight she was Lady Yuriko Oyama rather than Lady Deathstrike. Marti though was troubled, thinking about Hank and the fact that she was finding she may have been starting to fool in love with him. Well that might explain why she was stroking that blue velvet coat while creating the illusion that it was Hank.

"Is there something troubling you Martinique-san?"

"I think I'm in love Yuriko."

"Ah love, a very dangerous thing Martinique-san so be careful. Also please could you tell me why you are fondling that coat?"

Sabretooth sniffed the air cautiously and listened intently, he could smell something very familiar and he could swear he heard a heartbeat. It was coming from that broom cupboard so he crept cautiously closer, stealthy and silent but even he the most skilled of predators was taken by surprise. The cupboard door burst open and Steve Irwin leapt out and landed on Creed's chest knocking him prone. Quickly Steve managed to get Creed in a headlock maneuvering him so that the camcorder could get a close up.

"Crikey just look at this gorgeous critter, isn't he a beauty? Now look at those fangs and listen to that growl. He's saying back off I'm an angry Sabretooth and I might bite you. Still you're not going to bite me are you mate? No you're beautiful and you're not a naughty boy."

Sabretooth snarled and growled, struggling with all his might but quite unable to break free. His claws and fangs were quite useless and he could only hiss in impotent rage as Steve began stroking his sideburns.

"Now just take a look at these sideburns, quite common to all feral types and these are particularly impressive."

Creed should have realized that Steve Irwin was harder to kill than even Wolverine or a cockroach. Actually Steve Irwin had a lot in common with the latter although they were much more intelligent and charming creatures.

Bobby and Jack were in the lounge relaxing and watching a Star Trek rerun while eating Twinkies and drinking Coca Cola when they were interrupted by a ghastly apparition. Cassandra Nova had returned wearing a new blonde wig and a low cut gown that Emma Frost and Selene would have regarded as being too indecent for them to wear. Unfortunately her garb left nothing to the imagination and the sight was ghastly to say the least.

"Oh Hank, Cassie needs love!" crooned Cassandra Nova.

"I'm going ta die, oh man I'm going ta die I'm telling ya," whispered Jack shifting to wolf-man form.

"Aiiieee!" screamed Bobby leaping up into Jack's arms.

"Oh he's not here, well I'll just have to try somewhere else," sighed Cassandra Nova.

"Still I obviously made quite an impression on those two," she sighed blowing them a kiss before departing.

**Paris******

"Are you alright Hank? You gave me quite a scare with that coughing fit," asked Selene full of concern.

"Sorry about that, with my new mutation hairballs can sometimes be a problem. Also I have to be very careful about staying away from catnip," explained Hank.

"Poor darling, I will kiss you better," she purred kissing him full on the lips.

Hank sighed, thankful that yet again she'd remembered not to drain his energy. He'd lied about having the hairball; instead the coughing fit had started when Selene had made a suggestion. She felt the atmosphere in the restaurant was a little staid and perhaps she should liven it up by performing a striptease. He doubted that his heart could have withstood that experience although he had to admit it might have been enjoyable. Instantly he felt shame for admitting that to himself.

"After this darling Hank we shall have to go to the Louvre so I may choose some paintings for the Hellfire Club. I think the Mona Lisa would look lovely hanging above the fireplace and it will be an easy matter to steal it,"

"I have a better idea Selene, how about going up the Eiffel Tower or looking at Notre Dame?"

"Why Hank that's a lovely idea," purred Selene kissing him again.

Hank breathed a sigh of relief thankful that he had once again managed to divert her attention away from her more controversial ideas. Perhaps he would manage to get through the night without his fur becoming completely white. Absently he plucked a couple of hairs from his mane frowning as he looked at them, held tightly in his claws.

"Stars and garters, I swear these are gray."

**The mansion**

Jean could sense her husband's presence and suddenly her anger with him came rushing back. She smiled as she decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now Dark Beast had been a sympathetic listener and she had to admit that like Hank he was rather cute in a furry, animalistic sort of way. She didn't know if it was his aftershave or something but she felt quite attracted to him and somehow she was thinking of kissing him. Admittedly he had fur but Logan was only slightly less hairy and she'd kissed him a lot of times. Yes that was it, close her eyes and pretend it was Logan. Actually when she thought about it he looked similar to Logan in the face not that she would mention that to him.

"Stars and garters, what are you doing?" gasped McCoy as Jean flung her arms around him, hugging him tight and kissing him firmly.

"Oh my god," whispered a horrorstricken Scott standing motionless in the doorway.

"Your fur is soft, softer than Logan's stubble anyway," said Jean.

There was a loud thud as Scott fainted dead away toppling to the floor.

"I hope you didn't mind that McCoy," said Jean.

"Well it was a little unexpected but enjoyable none the less and at least you left my sideburns alone," mumbled McCoy.

Logan came in and shook his head as he looked down at the unconscious Scott. He came over to Dark Beast and patted him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Well have ya given any more thought as ta whether yer going ta join us until Hank comes back ta us?"

"Logan and I would both like to have you on the team," said Jean smiling.

"I'll uh think about it," muttered McCoy privately unsure whether to chastise or congratulate himself on the fact that his Eau de Beast had worked beyond his wildest expectations.

"Yes I'll join you. It'll be nice to be somewhere where I'm not universally hated for a change," he said with a fang filled grin.

**Hellfire Club**

"Oh the horrors, you and Jack are gay and I mean you and him doing it with him in werewolf form. That is like so sick," said Fitzroy gazing at the scene in horrified fascination.

Bobby was still in Jack's arms hugging him tightly around the neck, face buried in the werewolves shoulder sobbing quietly. Jack sighed and knew he was never going to live this down.

"Listen mate this really isn't what ya think it is,"

"Yeah right," said Fitzroy turning on his heel and leaving.

Jack sighed again and finally managed to shake off Bobby, setting him gently down on the sofa and patting him on the head while making soothing noises. Poor Bobby, he really had had a nasty fright.

"Don't ya worry mate, it's going ta be alright."

Fitzroy received an even bigger shock as he walked past the cupboard to see Creed apparently locked in a loving embrace with Steve Irwin. At present the intrepid Aussie was trying to get a look at Creed's mouth so he could check the fangs. Creed was struggling furiously trying to keep his head away.

"You know Creed I'm quite surprised about you choosing him. I mean with all the fighting you do I thought that you and Logan were tight," said Fitzroy.

Creed snarled and twisting his head round sank his fangs into Fitzroy's foot, easily tearing through the leather of his boot. Fitzroy's beard bristled as he yelped in pain and then he began hopping around in agony clutching his injured foot.

"Yeow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!" wailed Fitzroy.

"Serves ya right bub," growled Creed.

"Naughty Sabretooth, did you see him sink those fangs into that fellow's foot? Yes he's a naughty boy."

**Mansion infirmary**

"You know Xorn I thought my day couldn't have possibly got any worse but it just did. I mean it was bad enough Sinister telling me off for having an affair and possibly destroying my marriage to Jean. Then he says how disappointed he is that we haven't had any children yet and to cap it all he suggests a marriage guidance counselor. Then I come home and find that not only has Hank's lunatic double been made to feel one of the family but my wife is getting passionate with him. Oh I think I'm going to die," moaned Scott.

"I suggest you get some sleep. These will help you calm down," said Xorn as he administered the tranquilizers.

There was the smell of sulfur and brimstone as Kurt teleported into the infirmary. He had come at once when Xorn had called him. Blackheart had asked to see a priest apparently wanting some spiritual guidance. So he called a priest who happened to look like a demon to see a real demon who though he might be in need of the word of God. Still stranger things happened in the X-Men.

"He's over there Kurt. Thank you for coming,"

"No problem mein freund, I'm always happy to help anyone in need," replied Kurt. 

Kurt went over to Blackheart's bed where the demon hastily put away the bottle of whisky and Prozac.

"Now I'm here my son," said Kurt.

"Oh thank you," said Blackheart.

**Paris******

"Oh Hank I've found you at last," purred Cassandra Nova.

Hank was thankful that Selene was presently in the lady's room applying some more makeup. He managed to suppress the urge to scream in terror at Cassandra's ghastly appearance, mutton dressed as lamb didn't begin to cover it.

"Now Hank I want us to become close, let me be your lover."

"Thank you ma'am but the answer is no."

"Why is that might I ask?"

"For a start you're directly responsible for the destruction of Genosha and the deaths of sixteen million innocent mutants, you tried to conquer the Shi'ar Empire and kill Xavier. Also the first time we met you subjected me to severe mental torture and forced Beak to beat me into a coma with a baseball bat. So I don't really see any reason why you think we have any chance of becoming anything other than deadly enemies."

"So we got off to a bad start but that doesn't mean we can't be friends at least," whispered Cassandra.

"Get your hands off my Black King!" shrieked a returning Selene.

"Stars and garters, for mercy's sake just let it all end now!" howled Hank.


	10. The Day My Fur Turned Gray

**The Day My Fur Turned Gray**

****

**Paris******

Hank was an intelligent man and having weighed up the situation he had come to the only rational conclusion, to get the hell out of there while he was still breathing. Perhaps it might seem cowardly to some to be running away but he doubted even Logan would have stayed behind in that restaurant with Cassandra Nova and Selene about to duel to the death over him. Fortunately the humans in the restaurant had also decided that discretion was the better part of valor and when he had yelled for everyone to evacuate they had been swift to obey him. They hadn't even noticed him as he'd slipped quietly outside doffing his heavy jacket and dropping to all fours for maximum speed. Now he had been running for a good ten minutes before his sharp ears caught the faint muffled sound of a tremendous explosion and he glanced back to see the restaurant had gone up in a ball of flame.

"Stars and garters, I expect Casanova never had this trouble."

Hank knew he was in a lot of trouble now that Cassandra Nova was after him. Whereas Selene seemed to feel genuine love for him in that twisted heart of hers, Cassandra merely saw him as a means to an end. She was incapable of feeling love for anything; she didn't even see other people as being real except for herself and her brother Charles Xavier. Hank didn't really know much about her except her claim to be Xavier's psychic twin who he had fought in the womb before he was even born. She was also at least as powerful as Onslaught or Apocalypse, madder than Jubilee on a sugar high and absolutely, unremittingly, purely evil. The X-Men had thought they had stopped her once and for all but apparently that had been wishful thinking. Now she was back and gunning after Selene this time. Hank theorized she saw Selene as a rival and wanted to do _anything if it would hurt her enemy and stealing her boyfriend was just a start. He would probably have as much chance of surviving her attentions as Professor X having a bad hair day._

"Now how many minutes do I have before they come after me," grunted Hank scratching his chin thoughtfully, drawing in deep gasping breaths of precious oxygen.

Selene and Cassandra stood amongst the charred ruins of the restaurant, both completely unharmed despite the complete devastation behind them. For the moment their belligerence was spent and they were looking round cautiously. Clothes in tatters, hair and wig in total disarray and skin covered in soot they knew they weren't looking their best and they dreaded to contemplate what Hank would be thinking of them at the moment. To their considerable surprise they found they were alone amidst the wreckage, not a human in sight and certainly not their furry blue paramour.

"This is your fault, driving away my Hank and you don't even care for him anyway," spat Selene bitterly.

"He's too good for the likes of you; naturally he came to his senses and ran away from you. He'll come back to me," sneered Cassandra.

The fighting started all over again even more ferocious than before.

**Infirmary, the mansion**

McCoy had been starting to feel bored so he had decided to pop into the infirmary to see if he could find anything interesting to experiment with. He somehow doubted that the others would appreciate him performing his genetic manipulations on the students. Still he had the most wonderful idea for a new serum and if he was lucky he might find the necessary ingredients. Then he would just have to find someone suitable to test his new serum to promote uncontrollable nasal hair growth on, someone young and naïve and Beak would be just perfect.

"What are you doing here Dark Beast?" asked Beak.

"Oh I've come to apologize to Scott, if I'm staying with you for a while I may as well make my peace with the man," lied McCoy glibly.

Needing to keep up appearances he went over to the bed where Scott was lying. Scott was just coming round and he looked up to see yellow eyes gazing down at him. In his completely delirious state he somehow managed to mistake Dark Beast for Jean Grey. Mumbling something about his precious honey bunny he reached up and grabbed McCoy around the neck pulling him down.

"Stars and garters, mind the sideburns," growled McCoy.

"Oh darling, I love you so much," murmured Scott.

"What's happening, what's happening, I want my teddy," gulped Blackheart now also awake and hardly daring to look.

Before the horrorstricken eyes of the demon and the young mutant Scott kissed Dark Beast deeply and passionately. Then he blinked behind his ruby-quartz glasses and came more to his senses. The lips hadn't felt like Jean's and she certainly wouldn't have snarled like that. His fingers were gripping tightly onto thick sideburns and the face had felt somewhat rough and hairy. Scott came to a logical if erroneous conclusion.

"Logan, man I'm sorry, I was just totally out of it and I really hope you're not going to use your claws on me."

"Well that was closer than your last guess but take another look," said McCoy in a voice that was barely above a growl.

Scott took another look and realized that the eyes were yellow and while Logan was extremely hirsute he wasn't covered in short gray fur. Scott shivered in terror as he suddenly realized the true horror of the event that had just taken place and he mercifully fainted dead away. Memories of this would haunt his nightmares for years to come.

"Oh the horror," were the final words of Blackheart before he lapsed back into a catatonic state.

"Well he certainly seemed to be friendly to you at least to begin with didn't he," quipped Beak nervously.

"Dear child you are _this close to having your scrawny throat ripped out by my claws," growled McCoy._

**Hellfire Club**

Yuriko and Martinique were finally ready after facing several life and death decisions over which dress to wear, the proper shade of lipstick and major angst over whether or not Mastermind should reveal her true feelings to Hank. They had quickly decided that telling Selene about them would be tantamount to a death sentence. Now they were paused as they came across the sight of Sabretooth being harassed by the Crocodile Hunter.

"We've got to save Victor-san from the clutches of the gaijin madman,"

"See if you can grab Creed off him while I try and distract him with an illusion. This could be difficult since it's hard to affect a being of limited intellect and sanity such as him,"

Yuriko nodded and charged forward managing to grab hold of Creed's boot and drag him away from the Crocodile Hunter. Suddenly Steve Irwin's eyes lit up with delight as the camcorder roved towards the contents of the broom cupboard and he leapt onto a vacuum cleaner trying to wrestle it so he could get a close-up.

"Crikey look at this gorgeous and very naughty bouncing blue Beast. Isn't he beautiful," cried Steve. Once again Mastermind had created the illusion of the one who held a special place in her heart.

"That should occupy him for a while then perhaps we can send him after the X-Men. We could tell him that he will find the Canadian Wolverine there and wouldn't that be a shock for Logan-san," suggested Yuriko before being distracted by Sabretooth giving her an affectionate lick.

"Ya saved me darlin, now I'm all yours," purred Creed.

"You make a lovely couple," said a delighted Mastermind.

Yuriko's reply was rather less enthusiastic.

Back in the lounge Fitzroy was presently bewailing his lot. Jack had bandaged up his injured foot for him taking sadistic pleasure in applying large amounts of stinging antiseptic to the puncture marks. Given Creed's habit of raiding the dustbins and eating raw meat and his infrequent use of toothpaste the bite could easily become infected. Fitzroy promptly stopped complaining when Jack threatened to bite him since the young mutant had no wish of becoming a werewolf.

"Now have ya learned ya lesson mate?"

"So perhaps Creed isn't gay but I think the jury is still out on you and Bobby," said Fitzroy, cultured English accent grating on Jack's ears.

The werewolf snarled and grabbed Fitzroy by the throat and lifted him up off the ground. Fitzroy blanched as Jack seemed intent on choking the life out of him.

"Now are ya going ta take that back mate?" growled Jack.

"Mercy please, don't kill me, I beg you, quarter, have pity, I give," pleaded Fitzroy in a voice dangerously close to a whine.

"You can put him down now Jack. I think he learned his lesson and I don't think Selene would be pleased if you killed him," said Bobby putting a restraining hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Guess yer right mate. Alright Fitzroy I'm sparing ya this time," growled Jack dropping Fitzroy in a heap on the ground.

"Oh thank you, thank you, Owwie," he yelped as Jack 'accidentally' trod on his bad foot.

"Oh pardon my boot," said Jack insincerely.

**Paris******

Hank was crouched in the sturdy lower branches of an oak tree in the park. He was taking the opportunity to scrape the mud of his boots, mop the sweat from his fur, survey the rips in his shirt and generally perform some minor damage control. If he was lucky Cassandra and Selene would be so caught up in their fight that it would be a while before they came and found him. Knowing his luck though, he could probably expect company any moment now. He took a cautious glance around but caught no glimpse of either of them. Stripping off his gloves he began sharpening his claws to try and ease away his tension. Really he would rather endure the attentions of Sabretooth on heat than those two.

"Perhaps if I told them I really was gay they might believe me and leave me be. No they probably wouldn't believe me and knowing Selene she would probably suggest a threesome while Cassandra would just kill anyone who stood in the way."

Hank wished now that the rest of the Hellfire Club had accompanied them. At least then Bobby, his best friend would be there. Hank remembered how he and Logan had come to rescue him when they thought he was in danger. If Bobby was here he would have told Hank one of his corny jokes or pulled a stupid prank on him knowing just the thing to cheer up his old friend. Yes Bobby, he was like the annoying younger brother who you wished would just grow up but secretly hoped they never did. 

"Yes Selene I'm afraid I'm gay and yes I love Bobby not you so I'm sorry but it just wasn't meant to be. No she'd never believe that. Oh stars and garters what am I ever going to do?"

He howled mournfully just once like a wolf and then the tears came to his eyes. It was several minutes later that Selene arrived to find him in a heap at the bottom of the tree having fallen out. Going over to check if he was alright she suddenly stopped and gasped with horror.

"Hank did you know that there's gray in your fur. Oh you poor darling, it's been so stressful for you hasn't it and it's all her fault. Oh she's so going to suffer for this. Now don't you worry Hank we'll soon get you back and then you can go to bed, have as much rest as you need and I'll be there when you're feeling better. Bobby can look after you if you like. Oh my poor darling, lovely Hank I'll do anything you want if it will make you better," she cried.

"My dear the stress was just much for me and I'm at the end of my tether, I'm just a shadow of the Beast I was. Leave me, I'm no use to you now, the boat she's wrote for me," whispered Hank.

"No Hank, I shall be with you always even unto the end," she breathed kissing the furry cheek.

She noticed he was beginning to cry again obviously touched by her devotion. No this had all started as a game to her when she was bored and she had decided to fall in love never expecting to have genuine feelings for the lovable blue lug. He was her Black King, perhaps the only man she had ever truly loved in all her centuries of life.

"Oh Hank,"

"Hand me a sick bucket," sniggered Cassandra as she arrived.

"I think we've had enough of you," snapped Selene summoning up all her mystical might and releasing it with the full force of her fury in one irresistible evocation. The force of the blast flung Cassandra high into the air, hurtling hundreds of yards before her flight abruptly ended as she was transfixed atop the Eiffel Tower.

"Now lovely Hank I'll take you home and give you lots of tender loving care," soothed Selene as she cradled his head tenderly in her arms.

"Stars and garters, I surrender," whispered Hank realizing to his dismay that further resistance was futile.

**Mansion**

McCoy was feeling a much happier man now; Jean Grey had been very sympathetic when he related his unfortunate close encounter with Scott. She had just sat with him for about an hour just gently stroking his fur just the way he liked it before going off to find Logan. Then Emma had come and sat on his knee and kissed him, the cologne was working wonderfully. Finally Logan came in with several six packs and helped him drown his sorrows. Now he was well and truly inebriated and while it was almost impossible for Logan to get drunk he was as close to that state as it was possible for him to get.

"Y-y-ou k-know Wolsh-Woolv-Logan y-your m-my only friend," 

"Yer beautiful Dark Beast, yer my brother."

"Lesh party shall we, shtars and gartersh, I'm drunk as a shkunk."

The combined partying of a feral with adamantium laced bones and claws and some three hundred and fifty pounds of muscle, fang and gray fur soon wrecked the kitchen and they then proceeded to move to Scott's bedroom.

Emma Frost was walking to the infirmary to check with Xorn on the patient's recovery when she was ambushed by Steve Irwin. The Aussie Crocodile Hunter's camcorder was pointing straight down her cleavage.

"Crikey get a load of this gorgeous Sheila," he began before Emma shifted to her organic diamond form and gave him a sound thrashing.

**Hellfire Club**

Hank was feeling a lot better now that he was safely in a room set aside for his personal use. He would shortly retire to his bed but he had to admit that he had enjoyed Martinique's visit. She was pleasant company and he had to admit to liking the woman even if she was supposed to be an enemy. Her telepathic linking of their minds and reenactment of the story "Beauty and the Beast" had been simply beautiful.

Now he and his oldest friend Bobby were out of Hellfire uniform and comfortable in jeans and T-shirts, just sitting back on the bed. Well they did after Bobby had to test how bouncy it was but fortunately managed not to break any springs. They had been enjoying some Twinkies and now Hank was thinking of just getting some sleep. He was certainly happy that once they had got back Selene had confined herself to one last kiss goodnight and a promise to come and see him in the morning.

"I'm glad I have a friend like you Bobby," whispered Hank, he was presently purring as Bobby very gently stroked the fur on his arms.

"Well you're the best pal an ordinary guy like me could hope for," said Bobby.

Hank gave Bobby a gentle affectionate hug, unfortunately just as Fitzroy popped his head around the door.

"Just as I thought, you are………."

"Beat it," snarled Hank for once short sweet and to the point. Fitzroy no fool eagerly obeyed his Black King's order.

"See ya in the morning fuzzy, g'night," said Bobby.

"Goodnight my friend," replied Hank before settling down to a pleasant night filled with sweet dreams none of which involved Selene.

**Somewhere else**

"Don't think you've heard the last of me Selene. I will get my revenge. This I swear. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!" screeched Cassandra Nova.

Hank's troubles were far from over.


	11. Is A Little Peace And Quiet Too Much To ...

****

**Is A Little Peace And Quiet Too Much To Ask?**

****

**Hellfire Club**

Miraculously Hank suffered no more visitors welcome or otherwise that night and actually managed to get a solid eight hours of sleep without any further interruptions. This was down to Selene instructing that nobody was to disturb him or she would not be best pleased. Not even Victor Creed would be reckless enough to disobey that order. Hank's sleep was filled with pleasant dreams where Selene and Cassandra Nova were permanently banished to another dimension, he was back with the X-Men and his only women troubles were whether to marry Cecilia Reyes, Trish Tilby or even Martinique Jason. Dimly Hank wondered if Mastermind was sending him these dreams, still they were pleasant ones.

"Hello Hank, I trust my Black King slept well, look I've brought you breakfast in bed," called Selene.

Champagne was not quite how Hank usually started the morning but since Selene had entered his life he was finding he needed all the alcohol he could get. He fell on the rest of the breakfast, bacon and eggs, toast and marmalade and cornflakes eagerly devouring them. He then thanked Selene and politely asked her if she could leave while he had a shower in his en suite bathroom. She agreed willingly enough though he half suspected she would be watching him on the crystal ball. Still for the next ten minutes or so he paid her no mind but enjoyed his refreshing shower. Then it was just a case of shoving on a clean shirt and some jeans, formal costume was more for evenings and then he felt more like a mutant and ready to face up to the days stresses.

"Stars and garters whatever is the matter Selene and why are you looking so pained?" asked Hank wearily as he found her waiting for him.

"My poor dear Black King, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you on your own in charge of the Hellfire Club for today. I'm going to try and track down Cassandra Nova since I can still sense her out there and I think she'll come looking for revenge. Oh Hank I'm so sorry to abandon you like this," she was distraught almost on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry my dear, it won't be quite the same without you but I'm sure I'll cope," said Hank quickly just about managing to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

"My brave beautiful Black King," purred Selene kissing him deeply and fortunately remembering not to drain his energy.

Hank managed to keep the grin of his face until she had teleported away. Then he set off to find Bobby and tell him the good news that they were going to have some peace and quiet. With him being in charge and no super-powered and morally lacking women lusting after him he might even get the chance to enjoy life a little.

**The mansion**

"Hello Logan is Hank in? I've just come to say that I've managed to get my old job back and well I just thought I'd drop by and say hello and mend some bridges. Look I've bought flowers, a king size bag of Twinkies, that novel he told me about that he hadn't got round to buying and some other stuff," 

Trish Tilby was gasping for breath, having poured her words out before the glaring feral could slam the door in her face. He wasn't glaring now but looking slightly stunned and then when he finally did speak he seemed to be hesitating.

"Well yer welcome ta come I suppose but I mean Hank is in and then he isn't in. It all depends on which Hank ya wanted ta see," mumbled Logan. Somewhat baffled by this cryptic statement Trish walked by him into the kitchen setting her bag of peace offering on the table. Logan seemed almost nervous as he closed the door behind her and she wondered just what was going on. Then Hank came through the door and she suddenly realized what Logan had meant.

Dark Beast had finally got up and come down for some breakfast and was surprised to find he was being ogled by a female reporter. Trish Tilby was giving him the once over, she knew of course that this wasn't the Hank she had known and loved but there was a certain resemblance. The fur was gray, the eyes yellow, there were those little spines on the shoulders and he looked altogether shaggier and more feral than her Hank. Still he was the nearest thing to the old Hank she was ever likely to see and he was just as handsome in his own way. Plus there was the cologne he was wearing, it made her want to just go over and start stroking his fur so she obeyed the impulse.

"McCoy this is Trish Tilby, who ya heard about last night. Trish this is Dark Beast, a well former enemy who's now a guest. By the way I think yer making him nervous stroking his fur like that."

"Yes just as soft as Hank's, so how about we get to know each other better as I'm sure we'll be just perfect together. How about we say go for dinner, I know this nice little Italian restaurant. By the way I really love your aftershave," said Trish seductively.

"Forgive me but didn't you break off your relationship with my counterpart over the phone, I believe because you thought it could prove damaging to your career and you basically compared the relationship to bestiality. Well I'm afraid that I only date within my own species human so sorry but you'll have to look else where. Besides my heart already belongs to another," McCoy's voice was harsh.

His 'brother' (well they may have been the same person but they certainly weren't alike) may have been one of his bitterest enemies but he couldn't help but feel sorry for him being dumped like that. He saw the look on Trish's face and felt satisfied that now she knew what it felt like.

"Ya have ta forgive McCoy darlin, I'm afraid he's not as much of a gentlemen as yer Hank," said Logan giving McCoy a surreptitious wink.

"Look I don't know how many times I have to apologize for that and I mean if I could take it back I would. Anyway perhaps when that creepy witch has been sorted out we'll get back together. Anyway keep the gifts for him. Look I'll just go since I can tell I'm not the most popular person around here right now."

Logan could tell she was sincere and he didn't exactly forgive her, not yet anyway but he felt less angry with her. At least she was trying to make up for it so he might as well do her a favor in helping her to salvage her career with an exclusive human interest story.

"Ya know darlin; we had the Crocodile Hunter arriving yesterday. First he tangled with Emma, got away from her and ambushed us both in Jean's bedroom mistaking me fer a werewolf and McCoy fer a Sasquatch. Fortunately we managed ta subdue him and lock him up in the boathouse. I'm sure ya could make quite a story out of that,"

"Thank you Logan, you really are the best there is," exclaimed Trish kissing Logan on the cheek.

**Elsewhere in the mansion**

"There you are Blackheart I've been looking everywhere for you. What the hell are you doing huddled up in a corner like that and why are you trembling so much?" asked Selene.

"I'm afraid Blackheart has had a complete nervous breakdown as has Scott Summers. Now please could you leave since dressed like that you are liable to traumatize them further. Certainly neither of them are in any condition for visitors at the moment," said Xorn coming over and shooing Selene away.

"I've come seeking vital information so maybe you can help me. Tell me what do you know of the woman known as Cassandra Nova?" 

"May I ask the reason why you need this Selene?" Xorn had heard all about the Black Queen and in particular that she was one of the X-Men's deadliest enemies. The thought of an alliance between her and Cassandra Nova really didn't bear thinking about. Despite the fact that Selene's latest interactions with the X-Men were relatively benign he would still feel much happier when she was gone.

"I wish to know how to defeat her. You know they say that the enemy of my enemy is my ally, well she's definitely an enemy to both of us wouldn't you agree?"

"Well if that's the case I shall be happy to tell you everything I know," said Xorn.

If the X-Men were fortunate perhaps the two nigh omnipotent beings would be so engrossed in fighting each other that they would cease to be a threat to anyone else for years to come. Not that the X-Men were ever that fortunate of course but you could always hope.

**Hellfire Club**

Hank was waiting arms folded as Creed snarled, growled and smashed a chair into so many splinters. Finally the feral was relatively calm and aired his grievances all of which were directed towards Fitzroy. It seemed that unsurprisingly Creed wanted to rip the man's throat out, mainly because of Fitzroy's seeming obsession that the male members of the Inner Circle were gay.

"I would advise you to restrain yourself Sabretooth, certainly don't kill the man irritating though he may be. Much better to say scare the living daylights out of him, leaping out of him claws extended and snarling should be enough to do it. Then with any luck he'll go the way of the unfortunate Roberto De Costa and have a complete nervous breakdown thus ceasing to be a nuisance."

"Yeah I think yer right Beast, ya know ya might be a wimp but at least yer a brainy wimp."

"Thank you I think," muttered Hank as a satisfied Creed made his way out of the room. Well at least he'd managed to stop both of them from being out for Fitzroy's blood. The man really must have a death wish though, the way he kept antagonizing a feral and a werewolf. Hank made a note to recommend a good psychiatrist for Fitzroy since the young man had a lot of issues that he needed to work out.

"Hello Hank I just wondered if there was anything I could do for you since you seem a little tense at the moment. Now I did what you suggested and sent Yuriko and Fitzroy off on an inspection of the Los Angeles Hellfire Club so they won't be back until this evening. Jack's taken you up on the offer to take a trip to Central Park and unwind so what else do you suggest?" asked Mastermind popping her head round the door.

"Make it known to Creed that Logan's keen for another of their little scraps and tell him that….. he's up in Canada. That ought to take care of that little problem and then stars and garters, we might finally get some peace and quiet around here," sighed Hank shutting his yellow eyes and almost purring with anticipation.

**Back at the mansion**

"Ya know bub, I think yer going ta like this pub, and ya see if we're really lucky yer might get ta take part in a brawl or something. If we don't see any action at the Auger Inn then there are plenty of other dives we can visit. Ya get ta drink a load of beer and we might find a good woman fer ya," said Logan putting his arm around McCoy's shoulder.

"Would you let me come too?" asked Beak sporting a fresh bruise just above his beak.

"I'm afraid dear boy that you are far too young and innocent to take part in what we're intending to do. By the way you ought to go and see Xorn and get that bruise looked at. It looks really painful," said Dark Beast hoping that this show of concern would get rid of his annoying avian admirer.

"Well actually Xorn was the one who gave it too me after I found out he got visited by Selene and I asked him if he thought she was hot," explained Beak somewhat sheepishly.

"Kid when are ya going ta learn that sometimes ya ought to keep that beak of yours shut," sighed Logan in exasperation.

McCoy meanwhile was lost deep in thought. His present visit to the X-men was certainly different from his previous clandestine one, he actually seemed to be welcome here and they had even offered to have him join the team if he wished. He had to admit that apart from a few minor annoyances he was actually enjoying himself here and Emma in particularly seemed to like him being there. Perhaps he would join the X-men at least for a short while. If Beast was now the Black King of the Hellfire Club then why shouldn't the Dark Beast become an X-Man? It wouldn't be as though he was the first member with a decidedly murky past.

"Hey fuzzy are ya going ta quit yer daydreaming and come one, we've got beer waiting ya know."

"Of course Logan," said McCoy with a grin.

**Cassandra Nova's Lair**

"Well I would be out there trying to win Hank's heart but now I unfortunately seem to have hit an insurmountable obstacle. I mean taking over the Shiar Empire and wiping out Genosha were nothing compared to this. Even I may not be able to beat this challenge," sighed Cassandra.

The energy being had spent the last twelve hours tackling this problem but for all her incredible power and vast intellect she had to admit that she was no closer now to finding a solution now than when she had first set out. It might have seemed trivial to the casual observer but in reality it was one of the greatest challenges she would ever face. Which dress would she wear, the red one or the black one.

"Oh I give up," she groaned and started to bang her head against the wall.

It seemed for the moment that Hank was safe.

**Mansion**

**"I just want you to know Jean that well I'm sorry about Scott and well I'm not going to be pursuing him any more. I've found someone new," said Emma.**

"That's OK, I'll probably forgive him eventually since at least the excuse of marital problems means I can pursue Logan without feeling quite so guilty about it," replied Jean.

With that the two women smiled happy to have sorted out their differences. Besides Jean was looking forward to the look on Scott's face when he finally found out about just what her retribution was going to be. There was one good thing you could say about the Dark Beast, he certainly had a good imagination when it came to thinking up cruel and unusual punishments.

**Hellfire Club**

"Ya know Hank, this is just great," sighed Bobby curling up on the sofa.

"Indeed it certainly seems a lot quieter with just the three of us," laughed Martinique.

"Stars and garters, I'd quite forgotten what peace and quiet was actually like," rumbled Hank contentedly helping himself to another Twinkie.

They were having a nice quiet watch of a good action movie and they had been enjoying a quiet peaceful afternoon. Unfortunately all three of them had made the fatal mistake on commenting how nice it was to finally have some peace. Due to a certain universal law this meant that something very nasty indeed was about to happen!


	12. Something Sinister This Way Comes

**Something Sinister This Way Comes**

****

**Hellfire Club**

Hank was at the moment crouched behind the sofa fur standing up all over his body, mane bristling with fright, lips curled back to reveal his sharp fangs and claws retracting and extending spasmodically and his yellow eyes wide with panic and terror. Martinique Jason was using all her concentration to create the illusion of not being there hoping she would go unnoticed. As for Bobby, the Iceman was feeling a chill of terror in his heart and he was shivering uncontrollably. Suffice to say that they were all quite literally scared senseless by the ghastly apparition before them.

"Please come out from behind the sofa, I can assure you that my intentions are entirely benign. Look I know you're mutants of reason so at least try and act as though you have a spine," pleaded a harsh gravelly voice trying its utmost to sound cajoling.

Hank peered cautiously from around the sofa and sighed realizing that it wasn't just a nightmare as he had hoped. Sinister, yet another of the X-Men's most powerful and deadly enemies really was standing there. Incongruously he wasn't wearing his usual purple costume having decided to arrive in Hellfire Club attire looking like the Victorian gentleman that he had been long ago when he was Nathaniel Essex. It seemed as well that like some of the X-men he had decided to change his appearance somewhat. Whoever told him that dyeing his hair bleach blonde, wearing mirror shades, an earring in his left ear and a particularly unsuccessful attempt at a goatee should have been shot? Most unusual of all was his facial expression, a broad friendly grin was the last thing you'd expect to see on his face.

"What do you think he wants Hank? Oh man I hope he's not in love with you as well," whispered Bobby.

"Stars and garters, I really wish you hadn't said that Bobby, the resulting mental image, I think I'm going to vomit,"

Martinique Jason swayed slightly utterly horrified by the prospect and performed a quick scan of Essex's mind. Fortunately she found no hint of romantic interest in Hank whatsoever. The relief was immense but the surprise at his true intentions was such that she fell into a dead faint.

"What do you want with me Sinister?" asked Hank.

"Why Hank my boy, I'd just like to say I'm most impressed with you. Black King of the Hellfire Club eh, good to see you've finally shaken off your sentimental affiliation to Xavier's insipid dreams of peace. Now at last I can tell you how much I've admired you, my peer in every respect. Now Hank I'm offering you the place at my side you were destined to have helping me to improve the mutant race. Hank you will be the son I've always yearned for! Now what do you say?" asked Sinister almost trembling in his eagerness.

Hank found himself quite overwhelmed by this. He'd had a lot of shocks recently and it had given him the fright of his life when Sinister had teleported in right in front of him. Perhaps it had all proven too much and his mind was not functioning at its standard parameters. Otherwise he would have realized that the next words he spoke were perhaps not very wise.

"Well it's a generous offer but I'm afraid it's one I shall have to refuse," said Hank.

"Oh man you've really gone and done it now," groaned Bobby.

The smile faded from Sinister's face and he shook his head slowly and almost sorrowfully.

"Well I'm very sorry to hear that Hank," he said quietly.

**Mansion**

"Scott I really must advise against this, you've been under a lot of stress and you still need a lot of rest. If you go on like this you're liable to end up with a complete nervous breakdown," pleaded Xorn frantically.

Scott ignored him, he was too furious to listen to Xorn's advice or that of anyone else. One thing and one thing only were paramount in his mind, finding the Dark Beast and strangling him. Despite the troubles with Selene his life had been relatively bearable until the furry freak had shown up. Now Emma had told him that things were over between them and that she had chosen McCoy over him. Jean had said that she was also sick and tired of his affair and as far as she was concerned things were over between them. Apparently she was now seeking comfort from Logan despite the latter's reluctance to get involved. He'd also found that the serum which she'd spiked his drink with had been one of McCoy's little concoctions. A good thing Xorn had neutralized it since he didn't want to acquire a secondary mutation of uncontrollable nasal hair growth.

"So it seems that a male mutant's appeal to women is proportional to how hirsute he is well Logan at least is enough of a gentleman to keep his hands of my girl. Dark Beast though, he wouldn't know morals if you beat him unconscious with a Bible. I mean can't the others see that he's a sick bloodthirsty monster, an evil geneticist who looks at a pretty woman and thinks of all the wonderful experiments he can perform on her?" ranted Scott.

Emma had told him about how McCoy had come to her rescue and saved her from a gang of men before she joined the Hellfire Club. She'd owed him her life and in return for him protecting her she'd helped him regain his lost memories. They'd been allies for years, enemies later but there certainly seemed no bad blood between them now.

"Scott I know that McCoy has been evil, perhaps one of the worst enemies we've faced but he genuinely seems to want to make a fresh start. Marrow, Wolverine, Rogue, Magneto, Emma Frost, even your brother Alex, many of us have had dark pasts, some of us have even killed but we all agreed that we gave redemption, a second chance. Allow him a chance to prove himself at least," said Xorn soothingly trying to calm Scott down.

Behind his protective visor Scott's eyes were blazing with anger. He'd already made his mind up as to what to do, he knew Logan and McCoy had gone for a drink together at one of the less reputable taverns, well Scott would go there and sort McCoy out once and for all. At the very least McCoy deserved a bloody nose in Scott's opinion. He still felt nauseous every time he thought of mistakenly kissing the Dark Beast thinking it was his wife.

"Crikey, get a load of this gorgeous naughty Sheila, just look at her go! She's a beautiful girl," yelled Steve Irwin as he dashed past in hot pursuit of a screaming Trish Tilby. Her interview of the Crocodile Hunter really hadn't gone according to plan.

With this distraction Xorn never noticed that Scott had slipped away in the confusion and was now headed for the Auger Inn.

**Harry's Hideaway**

"Yes I generally find that the use of an image inducer prevents any controversy caused by my somewhat bestial appearance. You still have to be careful about touching people though since feeling fur instead of skin can be rather disconcerting to a human,"

Fortunately at Harry's Hideaway there was no need for disguises since the bartender was well used to mutant customers and had served Kurt and Logan many times. After serving someone with blue velvety fur, yellow eyes, pointed ears, sharp fangs, a long tail, two toed feet and three fingered hands, in short a veritable demon everything else seemed mundane after that. The only reaction to McCoy's appearance had been a woman coming over and asking if she could stroke his fur which he had gladly agreed to.

"Yeah well ya have ta admit that ya look even more like a werewolf than I do. Anyway I told ya that this was the best place ta come fer a drink. Well if yer is getting bored then don't ya worry, I'm going ta take ya ta the Auger Inn next where we'll get a good bar brawl in," said Logan with one of his wolfish grins.

McCoy nodded, he unlike his blue furred counterpart enjoyed a good fight just as much as Logan did. He felt in some ways a kindred spirit with the feral, like Logan he had his animal side. Logan was also glad that he had found a drinking partner with almost as much capacity for alcohol as he had. Logan sniffed the air catching a familiar scent then frowned; this certainly was unusual, Scott coming to a bar?

"Do ya smell that bub?" asked Logan tapping McCoy on the shoulder.

McCoy frowned as beer slopped onto his shirt, then he sniffed the air as well. His nose might not have been as keen as Logan's but it was still pretty powerful and he'd recognize that scent anywhere. 

"Stars and garters, this is a surprise Scott. Won't you come and join us for a drink?" boomed McCoy jovially. He might as well at least try to be friendly; he wasn't going to let anyone accuse him of not trying to fit in.

Scott's foul mood had not improved at all since he'd been forced to beat a hasty retreat from the Auger Inn after spotting Victor Creed and Jack Russell. Now on seeing McCoy inviting him for a drink something snapped inside him. Snarling he leapt right at the astonished Dark Beast and made a determined attempt to throttle him. Not the wisest thing to do considering that McCoy was twice his size, far stronger and more agile and possessed sharp fangs and even sharper claws.

**Graymalkin Lane******

"Oh help, somebody save me!" shrieked Trish just before she ran headlong into Trevor Fitzroy sending them both flying.

"Oh no, not him again," groaned Fitzroy as he saw the advancing Steve Irwin. Thinking quickly he helped Trish up, taking a minute portion of her life energy as he did so, just enough to open a time portal right in front of Steve.

"Crikey, would you get a load of thiiiiiiiiiiii………….." were Steve's last words as he charged straight into the portal which vanished instantly.

"I've sent him two hours into the future time enough for us to make a quick escape ma'am," explained Fitzroy in his cultured English accent.

Trish was checking him out, admittedly he did look rather odd with the green hair but then she had dated a blue furry gorilla in the past. Yes she had to admit he wasn't bad looking and that accent was to die for. Plus he'd just saved her from a fate worse than death. Before the astonished Fitzroy could react she kissed him on the cheek and gave him her most dazzling smile.

"You handsome have just got yourself a girlfriend," purred Trish.

"How very nice," murmured Fitzroy uncertain what to make of this.

**Hellfire Club**

"Oh well perhaps I did spring this on you rather suddenly. Well the offer is open Hank, have a think about it and I'll come and see you again soon and see if you've changed your mind," said Sinister smiling once again.

There was a loud thud as Bobby collapsed to the floor and began quietly sobbing with relief.

"Sinister how dare you try and lure away my Black King!" shrieked a familiar voice as Selene arrived.

"Selene listen, this really isn't what you think," protested Sinister but too late as a fireball hit him dead center.

There was an almighty explosion as Sinister was shattered into hundreds of tiny fragments, greenish slime spattering the entire room. It was going to take him quite some time to pull himself back together from this one.

"Stars and freaking garters," roared Hank.

Selene looked instantly contrite as she looked at her Black King. Hank had borne the brunt of the explosion, fur matted with the slime, mane a sodden dripping mess, shirt and jeans soaked and ruined. Hank growled to himself and stalked out of the room heading for the nearest shower.

"Selene, Hank had refused outright even though he knew Sinister might have killed him. Now I think he's a bit upset with you," said Mastermind.

"You know I think you're right. Don't worry though because I know just how to make it up to him," said Selene brightly. She smiled; Hank was going to be thrilled when he saw what she had in store for him.

**Harry's Hideaway**

Scott was beginning to regret his foolhardiness, the punch from McCoy had been pulled at the last instant but there was still blood pouring from his nose and his jaw felt as though it had been struck by a sledgehammer. Now he was presently dangling two feet above the ground held aloft by a handful of shirt grabbed in one of McCoy's clawed hands. The fierce yellow eyes were burning into his own hidden behind the visor and the fangs were showing in a snarl.

"You're lucky Scott, many have died at my hands for less temerity than yours. Still I don't think the X-Men would approve if I killed you so I'm sparing your life this time. Just don't pull anything like this again. Now look I'll only say this once but I'm sorry about anything I've done which may have upset you."

"Yeah well that's just not good enough!" snapped Scott bitterly.

Light glinted off adamantium claws as Logan looked at the pair of them meaningfully. McCoy and Scott nodded tightly knowing that if they weren't careful they would both get a taste of the claws. Scott was set gently down on his feet and he shook the proffered hand. Perhaps if they hadn't been so rudely interrupted they would have settled their differences over a round of drinks.

"Well would ya look at that, the Boy Scout led us right ta the runt and the Dark Beast! Time fer ya ta die, ain't that right Jack!" growled Victor Creed.

"I reckon I'm in the mood fer a little righteous mayhem mate," chuckled Jack shifting to werewolf form.

"Well looks like we're going to get some action sooner than we anticipated Logan," growled McCoy.

Instead their differences were about to be settled in yet another vicious little brawl of the sort which at least three of the participants were so fond of. Dark Beast and Wolverine leapt straight at Sabretooth while Jack sighed and exchanged a glance with Scott.

"If ya like mate we could do this the civilized way like gentlemen."

"Yeah how about a game of chess," suggested Scott.

**Hellfire Club**

Yuriko was waiting for Hank as he emerged from the shower. He'd managed to get himself looking immaculate once again and he was now back in full Hellfire Club regalia. He gave Yuriko a curt nod and then sighed heavily.

"Let me guess, Selene is going to try and make it up to me."

"Yes she told me to come and get you, she's taking you to New Orleans apparently to meet an old friend of hers for a quiet dinner," explained Yuriko somewhat apologetically.

"Stars and garters, maybe I should have accepted Sinister's offer."


	13. Problems Keep On Adding Up

**Problems Keep ON Adding Up**

****

**Hellfire Club**

Hank had been surprised to learn that Selene was known to Remy's adoptive father Henri LeBeau, apparently after the untimely demise of Candra she had been making inroads to acquiring control of the Guilds for herself. Hank thought that it was unlikely she would meet with such success, centuries of control by a psychotic female immortal wasn't something you wanted to repeat. Still she and Henri were good friends for reasons Hank could guess only too well and she assured him that this would be a quiet romantic dinner hopefully uninterrupted by Cassandra Nova, Sinister or any other enemies of the X-Men with an unhealthy interest in Hank.

"Perhaps first it might be best if we rounded up our missing Inner Circle members. I sent away Fitzroy, Creed and Russell and they have yet to return. Who knows what trouble they might be getting up to," suggested Hank.

"Good thought Hank. Let's see what the crystal ball tells me,"

Her spell revealed that Creed was presently engaged in his favorite activity, a bloody brawl with a certain feral and Jack was close by. Fitzroy was having a cup of coffee with Trish Tilby which pleased Selene greatly; she didn't mind what the reporter did as long as she stayed away from her Black King. Thinking quickly Selene decided the best course of action was to collect Jack and Creed first since that would give her another chance to see Logan again. This was probably not the best course of action to take since she had underestimated the danger posed by Trish, especially as she was out for revenge against Selene.

"Come my Black King, let us depart," said Selene activating her teleportation spell.

**Sinister's Lair**

Nathaniel Essex was not a very happy man at the moment, things had been going so well with Hank when Selene had to turn up and spoil everything. At this very moment Hank could have been taking his rightful place at Essex's right side adding his scientific genius and genetic expertise to his own. They would be working together as it was meant to be and nothing would have been beyond their grasp. Sinister could have finally realized his true dreams for mutant domination with the only man he considered his peer in that area. It would have been so wonderful but then Selene had shown up and blown him into little tiny pieces. Essex doubted that he'd get another chance to try and persuade Hank to join him for a very long time. Selene was going to make sure of that.

"Nathaniel Essex, I know that like me you have had certain problems with that witch Selene. My name is Cassandra Nova and I propose an alliance to deal with our mutual enemy," 

Sinister turned to see a bald woman looking like the twin of Charles Xavier and smiling winningly at him. She was wearing a little black dress and in Essex's eyes she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She was powerful, evil, ruthless, psychotic and many other pleasant things. In short she was the woman of his dreams, the one he'd been waiting for so long. Looking into her eyes he saw she was thinking the same thing. She might have come looking for an ally against a common foe but she seemed quite taken with him. Essex had known the makeover would increase his pulling power.

"Yes my dear we shall deal with Selene but I would like to know more about the ally I will be working with. May I suggest dinner together, maybe even breakfast?"

"What a splendid idea! Where did you have in mind?" asked Cassandra smiling sweetly.

"I know this delightful place in New Orleans; Remy LeBeau recommended it to me while he was still working for me. It used to be owned by Candra."

Smiling Essex took Cassandra's hand in his own and they prepared to depart for New Orleans little knowing that their intended romantic destination was also the one chosen by Selene.

**Harry's Hideaway**

Most sensible people had long since fled the bar and even the most foolhardy were sheltering behind what was left of the furniture while Harry himself was sobbing quietly, head in hands behind his bar. The place now looked as though a bomb had gone off, two feral mutants and a furry gray werewolf/gorilla brawling proving a more than adequate substitute for total Armageddon. Tables, chairs, the pool table had all been reduced to splinters and even the front door had been shattered by McCoy flinging Creed straight through it. The brawl was continuing even now, none of the participants seeming to tire off it although all were decidedly battered. 

"Well I beat ya three games out of five so do ya want ta try something different? How about Poker?" asked Jack?

"Alright then, or how about we try and estimate exactly how many thousands of pounds of damage has been caused by this little brawl?" suggested Scott.

They were sitting at one of only three intact tables, on two of the last remaining chairs contentedly sipping their beer seemingly oblivious to the carnage around them. This wasn't true but both had learnt not to let little things like rampaging ferals get to them, it was the only way to avoid going completely crazy in their line of work. Suddenly the bar went completely silent as Selene teleported and Jean Grey and Emma Frost appeared at the front door. They stood quietly watching as Creed, McCoy and Logan continued to fight on.

Jean Grey had a look of total exasperation, even disappointment at Logan getting into yet another fight with Creed for how many times had it been now, ten thousand or more? Emma was trying to look disapproving but taking a closer look you could see she was impressed by the way McCoy was handling himself even if she didn't openly condone the brawl. Both women looked across at Scott and gave him a nod; it seemed that he was in good books again probably for restricting his battle with Jack to the chessboard. Surprising how good the werewolf was at chess too. As for Selene she seemed to be enjoying the fight, nearly having a seizure when she saw Logan's shirt getting ripped. Finally Logan and Creed charged each other from opposite ends of the bar while McCoy came swinging down from the lampshade. There was a deafening thud as they collided, Creed went flying to crash down on the pool table, Logan ended up behind the bar where he helped himself to an unattended beer while McCoy, all three hundred plus pounds of him landed right on top of Scott and both of them demolished the chess table.

"You know ladies, nothing like watching a good brawl to get you all hot and bothered," purred Selene as Jean shot her a venomous glance.

"McCoy, Dark Beast I hope you're alright. Oh are you OK too Scott," asked Emma almost as an afterthought.

"I don't think I could be possibly more ashamed of you right now Logan, I mean if you have to brawl at least confine it to the Auger Inn rather than one of the only mutant friendly bars around," scolded Jean as she dragged Logan out from behind the bar by one of his muttonchops.

"Hey could ya kindly remove yer grip on my sideburns Jeannie, do ya know how much work it gets ta get them just so," growled Logan before yelping in pain as Jean tightened her grip.

McCoy sprang easily to his feet and dusted himself down; remarkably he seemed uninjured except for a now shredded shirt and some cuts and bruises. Checking Scott over for injuries he announced no broken bones although he thought Scott was in urgent need of a drink. Scott sighed heavily and contented himself with thoughts of a nice gray fur rug by the fireplace and the Dark Beast's head as a trophy on the wall. He would have hoped that McCoy would end up in trouble for getting involved in a barroom brawl but apparently the women were content to lay the blame squarely on Creed and Dark Beast and Wolverine were let of with a scolding and Logan even got a kiss of apology from Jean for pulling his hair.

"Scott I just want to say that I'm proud of you for resisting the urge to get involved in that little macho testosterone overdose display. Well done," said Jean kissing him.

"Yes it's good to know we can always rely on you to be the sensible one most of the time," added Emma kissing him.

"We'll have ta do this again some time mate, good playing chess with ya,"

"Yes Jack, say in a thousand years or so," Scott didn't think it best to say what he really wanted, no point in starting another brawl.

With that McCoy, Scott, Logan, Emma and Jean headed back for the mansion before any further trouble happened. Meanwhile Jack was shaking his head sadly as Selene advanced upon a cowering Sabretooth.

"I swear it was all the runts' fault I'm telling ya," whimpered Creed.

"I just want to say well done darling for providing me with such entertainment," purred Selene.

Then she turned to Jack.

"Now shall we see what Fitzroy's up too? No let's head back to the Club, Sabretooth could do with some cleaning up,"

If she'd known the damage Fitzroy was about to inflict on the Hellfire Club she would have gone and collected him there and then. Her mind though wasn't functioning as well as it should, she was still too distracted by the thoughts of the fight, how she loved seeing ferals in action and the upcoming dinner with Hank.

**Trish Tilby's Apartment**

Fitzroy was quite astonished to find someone with the patience to listen to his theories. Trish was a sympathetic listener and soon he was telling her everything, all his conclusions about the sexuality of his fellow Hellfire Club members, including some of Selene's favorite games, what he suspected Creed had been doing with the Crocodile Hunter, Bobby and Hank, Bobby and Jack, Hank and Creed and many more things, a few of which may even have been true but most of which were the result of his fevered imagination and warped mind. Of course a professional reporter never lets the truth get in the way of a good story and Trish thought that with all of this material she was sure to win a Pulitzer. She would gloss over the details involving Hank, she wished him no ill but as for Selene and the rest of them, revenge would be sweet indeed.

"Well honey, this will certainly be a great help to me. Meet me at my place later for coffee as I've got to dash now," chattered Trish as she gently but firmly escorted Fitzroy to the door.

Once outside Fitzroy suddenly realized what he had just done and he pulled half his beard out in his resulting agitation.

"Oh man, the others are going to kill me for this or even worse, I'll be made to join in Selene's games."

**The mansion, later that evening**

Xorn was feeling quite pleased with himself, the only additional casualty had been Beak who'd been punched by Logan once again after asking about Selene. Some of the female students had also needed sedatives after seeing Logan with a ripped shirt, Scott had needed some aspirin after being hit by a flying shoe after another argument between Emma and Jean over who got to kiss him and McCoy had needed some minor medical attention after being mobbed by students. Apart from that it had been a quiet afternoon and Blackheart had recovered sufficiently to be up and about. At present the demon was helping Xorn out in the infirmary putting medical supplies away and making beds.

"Xorn do you think I could stay on here, perhaps be a teacher or something. I could perhaps give embroidery lessons and I'm skilled in music and art."

"I think that would be a very good idea Blackheart. We'll just need to wait and see what the others say and I think we should perhaps wait awhile to ensure your full recovery from your nervous breakdown before exposing you to the students," replied Xorn.

In the kitchen Logan and McCoy were drinking yet more beer this time with Scott who had felt in need for a drink. Jean and Emma had gone off to do some shopping with promises for a nice evening out for all five of them. McCoy was just telling Scott and Logan all about some of his research which was on the verge of sending them into a coma. They were saved from this by an excited Beak rushing in, practically breathless with his excitement.

"Hey you'd better come and see this," he called leading them into the lounge.

The evening news was on the television and they just caught the headline 'Hellfire Club Revelation, Shameful Secrets of Selene' with Trish Tilby presenting it.

"This is an exclusive special report on what really goes on behind the respectable façade of the Hellfire Club, a social club for the wealthy and elite of society. In particular the so-called Black Queen Selene…………………."

When it was finally over Logan, Scott and McCoy exchanged horrified glances.

"Flamin hell."

"I really need the bathroom right about now."

"Curse my stars and garters; I'll never look at wooden spoons in quite the same way again."

**Hellfire Club**

When Fitzroy finally crept back to his room he found them waiting for him. Jack, Martinique, Creed, Yuriko and Bobby all of whom had just caught the news special and who were absolutely furious. Fitzroy gulped and waved nervously as he saw five pairs of eyes glaring at him and savage growls coming from deep in Creed and Jack's throat. Yuriko's adamantium talons were also pointed at the most tender portion of his anatomy making him feel very nervous indeed.

"Oh hi guys, listen about that, I can explain."

"We're going ta rip ya ta shreds bub!"

"Want to know what a snowman feels like, because you're about to find out."

"Yer really in fer it now mate."

"No mercy for you Fitzroy-san, gaijin dog that you are."

"I'll make your worst nightmare come true literally."

Fitzroy tried desperately to open a time portal but he was distracted by a particularly horrifying illusion sent by Mastermind, Creed and Jack grabbed hold of his arms by sinking their fangs into him, Yuriko extended her talons pinning him to the wall by his jacket while Bobby encased his boots in ice. Now completely helpless he waited for the end to come.

"I suppose you're going to kill me," sighed Fitzroy.

"No we're going to take you to the dungeons where we'll leave it to Bobby's devious cunning to come up with some suitable punishments for you," said Marti in a voice dripping with honeyed venom.

Fitzroy shivered a fate far worse than death awaited him.

**New Orleans******

"Well Hank here we are, what's the matter Hank?" asked Selene.

"Stars and garters, this is definitely a case of double trouble," growled Hank.

He pointed his clawed finger and Selene followed his gaze seeing Sinister and Cassandra Nova just entering the restaurant. She turned to Hank who nodded grimly.

"Well I think for once it might be best if we followed one of my ideas, now as a former Avenger I'm still welcome at the mansion, so why don't we go and pay my old friends a visit. Hank Pym, Steve Rogers and Tony Stark would probably be fascinated to meet you. Plus we've got one of the most powerful hero teams there is in case we get any unwelcome visitors," said Hank.

He scratched his furry chin thoughtfully, Selene seemed intrigued by his suggestion and with an enthusiastic nod she started another teleportation spell. Meanwhile Hank could see the all too familiar form of the Crocodile Hunter following close behind Essex and Nova. Hank ran his claws through his mane and couldn't help breaking into a fierce grin.

"Stars and garters, I could almost pity those two. That's if I didn't die laughing first at the thought of the trouble they're in for!"


	14. Beware The Iceman

**Beware the Iceman**

****

**Hellfire Club**

"Now Fitzroy you should consider yourself lucky to have gotten off so lightly for your heinous deeds. Now just be a good little gaijin and put on those clothes. No hesitating now or I shall perform some ah yes 'below the belt surgery' with my talons," hissed Yuriko, the menacing gleam in her eyes telling Fitzroy she wasn't bluffing. 

Fitzroy gulped nervously remembering how easily those talons had slashed through his beard, unable to tug at his now absent goatee he settled through running his fingers nervously through his once green hair. This had now been dyed black and he was also wearing green contact lenses. Bobby had decided that it was only fair to make the punishment fit the crime and his twisted imagination had come up with the perfect idea. This was to make Fitzroy dress up as Selene and parade about in Times Square. Knowing Trish Tilby she'd probably make another news night special out of the result. Bobby had explained all of this with an evil grin as Martinique selected one of Selene's spare black dresses, naughty underwear and some makeup. Then it had just been a case of getting Jack to hold him down while Yuriko and Mastermind set to work giving him a makeover. The worse bit had been the waxing strips which had Jack and Creed backing nervously out of the room. That was fine with Bobby since he had plans of his own for Creed.

"You know you actually look quite pretty as a woman Trevor, I think this look suits you very well, crooned Martinique holding up a mirror.

Fitzroy gazed at his now heavily made up face; purple lipstick and blue mascara were among the highlights with his hair now in a perm and dyed black. He was wearing a large amount of jewelry, the tiniest of black dresses, long false eyelashes and false black fingernails, tights and high heels. The completed picture was surprisingly attractive and the frightening thing was that the dress actually suited him. Well he had wanted to get a promotion, hopefully to Black King though and not to Black Queen.

Bobby meanwhile was grinning with unholy delight, he knew that Creed would take a little persuading to take part in his plan but he was the only one who remotely resembled Beast. As it was they'd have to make do with a suitable blue dye job, dress him up in those fake blue furs which they'd found in Selene's party things and he'd bear at least a little resemblance to the old bouncing blue Beast. Creed though had refused point blank but Bobby had planned for this. Now with a little help from Jack he had Creed at his mercy. Creed was snarling defiantly but there was fear in his eyes and he was struggling frantically if futilely with his bonds. His feet were at the ready trapped in the stocks and Bobby took sadistic delight in slowly removing the feral's boots and peeling off his socks. Then he took the feather and slowly began tickling the soles of Creed's feet scraping the feather down his soles, across his arches and in between his toes. Bobby had been reading up on Selene's private files on the Inner Circle members and had found a few interesting revelations about Sabretooth. These included that he enjoyed having his sideburns rubbed, that he would do anything for a nice raw juicy steak and that he was extremely ticklish especially his feet. Still this was Creed and he was a tough customer, Bobby had to move on to the hairbrush and even then it was ten minutes before Creed finally begged for mercy.

"Hahahahahahahahahaa, please yer killing me, hohohoho, mercy please, heeeheeeheeeheee, I'll do it," pleaded Creed as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Good boy and as a reward for being such a good sport you get a nice steak afterwards," said Bobby benignly.

"Why didn't ya say that in the first place bub, I'd have been happy ta oblige fer that," growled Creed.

"I just wanted to see you begging first," said Bobby and his evil smile sent an icy chill into Creed's heart.

**The Xavier Institute**

Xorn had nearly had a nervous breakdown after the massive influx of patients, around two thirds of the student population seemed to be in need of medical attention suffering either various bruises or other minor injuries from falling out of their chairs in shock, severe nausea or fainting, or sedatives to cope with the severe trauma. As it was Scott, Logan and McCoy had felt the need for yet more alcohol, Blackheart was hiding under a table with his teddy and Emma and Jean had nearly got palpitations with worry at finding the mansion so quiet. It came as a considerable relief when the alarm went off and Cerebra reported intense Hellfire Club activity at Times Square. A good old fashioned brawl with enemy mutants was probably just what was they needed right now.

"That Selene sure has quite an imagination doesn't she," whispered Beak in awe. Then his eyes widened and then shut as he slipped back into unconsciousness as the sedative went to work.

"There that should be everyone, oh what's the matter McCoy?" asked Xorn with a heavy sigh.

"I'd just like some painkillers for my sore ribs, Logan and I must have been hugged for comfort by just about every female in the building except Emma and Jean. Unlike our fantabulous feral I lack a healing factor."

Xorn was happy to fulfill such a simple request and Dark Beast was soon on his way. His yellow eyes blinked in bemusement as his path was barred by Scott Summers. Behind his visor Scott's eyes were set in a stern gaze as he poked a finger into McCoy's furry chest causing the mutant to wince in pain. 

"Stars and garters, what do you want Cyclops, oh majestic and monocular leader."

"Well we've got a mission and since you're at least unofficially an X-Man you'll be part of the team. I want to know if you'll be prepared to follow orders," explained Scott in his best authoritarian tone, the one that even worked on Logan occasionally.

"Depends on the order, try me,"

"Put this on," said Scott holding out an X-Men uniform.

"Your wish is my command," purred McCoy taking the uniform and hurrying to his room.

A few minutes later he was admiring his reflection in the mirror. Yes he liked the costume, especially the leather jacket which complemented his fur very nicely and also showed off his muscles. He grinned and proceeded to get out a hairbrush, carefully grooming his sideburns and then tying back his shaggy black hair in a neat ponytail. Yes he might as well look his best now that he was an X-Man. Whistling a tune he sauntered down to the hall where Scott was waiting rather impatiently.

"Wow I never knew you could look so hot," whispered Emma.

"Thank you my dear and you of course look as lovely as ever," said McCoy with a fang filled grin.

"If we've quite finished flirting we have a mission to fulfill people, assuming of course we have Dark Beast's permission," Scott's voice contained just the merest hint of sarcasm.

**Times Square******

"Ooh Hank you're so wonderful and furry, you're my Black King and I'm going to love you and hug you forever. Oh you're my snuggle bunny, my honey bun and my lovely fuzzy blue darling," simpered Fitzroy in a falsetto squeak.

"Stars and garters, yer my paramour, what the heck kinda word is that fer a frail. Oh sorry, no ya don't need ta get the feather out. Yer my paramour and I'm going ta, look do we have ta use all these fancy hundred dollar words that Hank flings around. They're giving me a freakin headache bub, oh man the things I do fer a steak," snarled Creed quite miserable, the furs were itching and the perfume that Fitzroy had on was making him feel distinctly nauseous.

"Hush now Victor-san, you're doing fine," purred Yuriko rubbing the muttonchops and provoking a little purr from Creed.

He shrugged and grabbing Fitzroy none too gently by the arm proceeded to the next part of Bobby's script. This had then arm in arm dancing in and out of the traffic. They'd already attracted the wanted attention as a television news crew was filming the antics. Doubtlessly it helped that Martinique was working flat out with her illusions and the giant purple cabbages hovering just overhead and the horde of barbarian bunny rabbits couldn't help but draw attention. Bobby was grinning manically now, he was really starting to get into this villain business and he seemed to have a natural flair for it. Certainly he'd mastered the making outlandish plans part although it helped that he was already a master prankster.

"Bobby Drake you are a sick twisted genius, you're ever so cunning and devious and those are the things I admire the most in a man," whispered Marti into his ear.

"Yer really something ya know mate, ya wouldn't think ta look at ya, I mean ya look so young and innocent," there was something akin to admiration in Jack's voice as he gave Bobby a friendly pat on the back.

"Indeed dear boy, who would ever have thought that the Iceman's deceptively innocent boyish charm would conceal a mind nearly as dark and devious as my own," roared a deep if jovial voice.

"Who the heck said that?" muttered Bobby as the sound of polite applause was heard. Glancing upwards he saw McCoy hanging upside down from a lamppost by the toe of his left boot and clapping politely. Dark Beast gave Bobby a friendly grin and winked one yellow eye.

"Wait you're the Dark Beast, so why are you wearing an X-Men uniform. I mean you're supposed to be one of the biggest bad guys on the block. What the heck is going on here?" mumbled Bobby feeling totally bewildered.

"Believe it or not Bobby but with Hank absent well the X-Men wanted a Beast on the team. They invited me to join them and I chose to accept and I'm already very popular with the students. Still when you think about it is it really any stranger than you being a member of the Hellfire Club?"

McCoy leapt down from his perch landing neatly next to Bobby. Putting an arm around Bobby's shoulders he grinned broadly and waved to the approaching Jack and Yuriko assuring them his intentions were entirely benign. Then he started speaking again weaving a beguiling web of honeyed words, drawing the Hellfire Club in, lulling them into a false sense of security so they never even noticed as the X-Men began approaching.

"Oh tell me I'm not seeing this, this is worse than damn news broadcast, I mean tell me Logan did you ever think you would see Creed dressed like that and as for Fitzroy I think I'm going to be sick," Scott said in a voice dangerously close to a whine.

Logan couldn't reply, he'd taken one look at 'Selene' and 'Hank' and now he was on his back, convulsed with helpless laughter and thumping his fist on the ground. Tears were streaming down his face as he literally roared with mirth and if it wasn't for his healing factor he'd have literally died laughing. Creed wouldn't have appreciated the irony that this was the closest he'd come to defeating Logan for years.

"Hmm you know Fitzroy does have nice legs, I never really noticed that when I was with the Hellfire Club. He also looks a lot better now he's shaved off that stupid beard. Still I don't like that shade of lipstick; I'd have gone for a subtle rose myself. What do you think Jean?" asked Emma casting a critical eye over Fitzroy.

Jean couldn't reply though since she'd fainted dead away.

McCoy shrugged and sighed as it looked as though he'd be on his own for awhile. Still maybe a little lecture on the mechanics of quantum singularities would keep the Hellfire Club occupied until the X-Men got back in action. Hell by that time the Inner Circle would probably all be fast asleep or surrendering for fear of any more lecturing.

"I'm the best there is at what I do, apologies to my feral friend of course," whispered McCoy.

**Avengers****Mansion******

"Please forgive us Hank but we'd all been a little concerned with you, we all knew how traumatic your last mutation was and well we were worried it had affected your judgment. I mean we were all shocked, surprised and dismayed to find out that you were the Black King of the Hellfire Club and apparently in love with Selene. Wonder Man actually cried after that news broadcast by Trish Tilby," said Steve Rogers.

"Stars and garters, what has she done now," roared Hank so Captain America played back the video for him.

Afterwards Hank checked himself for gray fur, hmm, his mane was definitely getting grayer and there was a slight tic in his cheek. In desperation he demolished two entire packs of Twinkies and the resulting rush of sugar managed to calm him down. He was going to have a few words with Fitzroy when he next met the man and maybe he'd use him for a scratching post. Still Hank once again explained things to his friends and this time Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four spoke up.

"We knew that you wouldn't sink that low Hank, after all you were one of the best Avengers they're have ever been. Still you have my deepest sympathies for your current predicament and forgive me for saying this but you seem to have a tiger by the tail," said Reed.

"Just don't let Selene hear that as you'll only give her ideas," growled Hank.

He felt a lot better seeing all his old friends again and he was relieved to know why Wonder Man had hugged him so tightly he nearly broke three ribs and then had run from the room in tears. Suddenly a loud shriek was heard from another room and a terrified Nick Fury rushed through followed by Selene. She had been making a major nuisance of herself, apparently intent on flirting with every man in sight even Ben Grimm. 

"Selene, I don't think the good Colonel really is interested in you. Besides he's a good friend of Logan's and he's also the head of SHIELD so he's not really a man to mess with. Anyway I might get jealous," 

"Oh I'm sorry Hank, it's just he's so ruggedly handsome, the type that drives me wild. The eye patch is so romantic. I was only offering him a place in my Hellfire Club. After all a new vacancy for Black Rook will soon be open when I'm finished with Fitzroy," purred Selene.

"Frankly ma'am, you're even worse than Viper," growled Nick who was now hiding behind Hank.

Before any further trouble could occur Trish Tilby chose that moment to enter with a news crew having learnt of Hank's presence. Selene hissed with anger and turned towards her hated rival eager to punish the insolent news reporter. Hank quickly grabbed Nick, Reed and Captain America and shoved them into the broom closet before getting in himself and shutting the door.

"It's going to get real ugly real fast. Maybe I ought to call in some of my agents," growled Nick.

"I doubt there would be much they could do in this situation," sighed Captain America.

"Stars and garters, I'd like to apologize most profusely to you God seeing that in all likelihood you and I will soon be seeing a lot more of each other. It'll take a miracle to get out of this without me becoming the bouncing gray Beast. Then I'll look just like the Dark Beast only in feline form," muttered Hank.

"Talking of the Dark Beast, he's apparently joined the X-Men," said Reed Richards.

"Well curse my stars and garters if that doesn't just take the biscuit."

**New Orleans******

"No save me Essex, don't let him get me," screamed Cassandra Nova.

"Oh this is worse than Apocalypse, help, help," shrieked Sinister.

"Crikey, get a load of these critters," gushed the ever enthusiastic Aussie.

Against the Crocodile Hunter the two had no hope, no hope at all.


	15. The Wrath Of The Beast

**The Wrath of the Beast**

****

**Times Square******

McCoy's plan had been working perfectly and if it hadn't been for a twist of fate the confrontation might have ended with a peaceful surrender from the Hellfire Club. Jack was howling mournfully neatly summoning up the feelings of the Hellfire Club in general, Martinique, Bobby, Yuriko, Fitzroy, Scott and Emma were nearly comatose and well Logan was still laughing. That was the twist of fate because Creed heard the laughter and predictably it made him mad. Snarling he charged towards Logan who hastily sprang to his feet and extended his claws. Within seconds the two feral men were engaged in yet another of their little brawls.

"I'll teach ya ta laugh at me ya runt!"

"Aw did I hurt yer feelings Creed? Don't ya worry bub; I'm going ta hurt ya plenty more."

Dark Beast yelped and broke off in mid speech as he was nearly eviscerated by a wild swing. Instantly the Hellfire Club and the X-Men squared off against each other and eager to relieve the boredom and tension squared off against each other. Dark Beast shrugged and grinned, he loved a good brawl almost as much as he loved twisted genetic experiments. It looked as though he faced a worthy opponent as a growling and full wolf-man Jack was advancing towards him.

"Come little dog, I yearn for combat. Come and get it Jo-Jo the Dog-faced Boy!" growled Dark Beast.

"Yer one ta talk mate, still ya like ta hear the sound of yer own voice. If yer fought as well as ya talked we'd all be dead already," snarled the werewolf.

"I'm the sarcastic one around here," snarled Dark Beast.

They too began a vicious little brawl.

As for the ladies, Emma Frost was in her diamond form and was trading blows with Yuriko, adamantium talons scraping against diamond skin while Jean Grey and Martinique Jason fought a telepathic duel by sending horrific images into each other's minds which included finding gray hairs and that they had put on several pounds of weight. Yes the ladies fights were every bit as vicious as the men's.

"I'm not fighting my old friends; I'm staying neutral in this fight. Not that I'm afraid to fight or anything," called Bobby hiding behind the news crew. They ignored him concentrating on filming the fighting including the most ludicrous battle of all.

This was the dramatic confrontation between Fitzroy and Cyclops. The opening move had involved Scott getting sudden uncontrollable hysterical giggling as Fitzroy advanced upon him still in drag. Fitzroy had reacted by slapping Scott viciously across the cheek so Scott kicked him in the shin. Fitzroy started pulling Scott's hair so Scott slapped him. It had all degenerated into a catfight.

**Avenger's mansion**

Captain America, Nick Fury and Reed Richards had backed up into a corner of the broom cupboard where they eyed Hank nervously. Hank had finally reached the end of his tether having gone from despair to a rather different emotion, he had had enough and now he was extremely annoyed. His yellow eyes seemed like burning coals as they almost glowed with rage and his lips were pulled back revealing the sharp fangs as he growled. His mane was bristling and he was extending and retracting his claws in his anger. There was nothing cuddly about Hank at the moment; he was as terrifying as any angry lion.

"Gentlemen I have decided that enough is enough. I mean stars and garters, things have gone too far and it's about time I did something to sort it out. Now I suggest you sit tight and leave it to me. This won't be pretty but unfortunately you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs," Hank was making a supreme effort not to growl.

He opened the door of the broom cupboard and just saw a pack of Selene's demons carrying off the last of the news crew. It seemed that everybody else had had the good sense to flee for their lives. The only two left were the two women who between them had made his life almost unbearable these past few days. Selene was looming over a cowering Trish and it seemed she was trying to make the woman eat her own camera. Hank cleared his throat abruptly and Selene looked at him mildly, all sweetness and death once again. She smiled coyly at him, batted her emerald eyes and adjusted her dress so he caught just a glimpse of cleavage.

"Oh tiger, you look so cute and dare I say sexy when you're angry," purred Selene.

"Indubitably, may I enquire as to what your intentions are towards this news reporter?"

"Actually I'll leave it to you to choose her fate Hank, I'll kill her anyway you wish."

"Oh God Hank, I'm begging you don't let this screwy witch kill me, please Hank. I'm sorry," shrieked Trish desperately.

"Don't kill her but put her somewhere she won't be a nuisance. Banish her to limbo or somewhere," growled Hank.

"Done," smiled Selene as with a final lingering scream Trish faded from sight.

Selene smiled again and came over to Hank, stroking his fur gently and giving him a delicate kiss to his cheek. Hank sighed and waited for her affections to cease before continuing.

"You look tired Selene, why don't you go back to the Hellfire Club and leave sorting out our Inner Circle to me. Believe me in the mood I'm feeling right now maybe I'll just go and beat some sense into the lot of them. Stars and garters, I'm turning into Sabretooth, only with blue fur," groaned Hank.

"Actually that gives me an idea for a little game that I'm sure will cheer you up. Of you go then dear but don't be too late back, I'll be waiting for you," promised Selene. A kiss on his cheek and she vanished back to her lair.

**Times Square******

Fitzroy was not feeling very well at all right at the moment; being thrown half way across the square by Cyclops's optic blast was bound to be a painful experience. Add to this the fact that his dress was now in shreds leaving him wearing just the lingerie and he was humiliated as well as injured. Now he was lying in a groaning heap across a car and wishing he was dead and knowing that as soon as Selene got him that wish would be granted but very slowly and painfully. He was still moaning when a furry blue hand picked him up by the scruff of the neck. Fitzroy gulped, smiled weakly and waved a feeble hand as Hank's glowering face appeared inches away.

"Oh hi Hank, you're not mad at me are you?"

"No Fitzroy I'm far from mad, I'm furious. Now since you've caused more than enough trouble already let's see if we can keep you out of mischief."

Fitzroy was settled down fairly gently on the ground and a glare from Hank dispelled any notions of a quick getaway. He stood still and watched with horrified fascination as Hank first doffed his jacket and handed it to him. Hank angry though he may be had seen Fitzroy shivering from the cold and had no desire for the poor fellow to catch hypothermia. Then he moved over to the nearest signpost, wrapped his muscular arms around it and gritting his teeth heaved. Muscles rippled beneath the fur as the signpost was uprooted. Grunting slightly with the effort Hank marched over to Fitzroy and twisting the signpost into a spiral soon had Fitzroy completely entangled.

Hank mopped the sweat from his brow and stood panting for breath, the adrenaline surge was leaving him now and a twinge told him he'd certainly pulled a few muscles. He made a mental note to take some aspirin later for the pain.

"Now you'll be a little tied up until further notice Fitzroy," he said flashing him a sardonic grin.

Hank glanced around frowning as he saw the others paying him no attention whatsoever preferring to carry on with their fighting. The exception was Scott who was busy lecturing Bobby about his unbecoming behavior. Hank sighed; it looked as though he was going to have to do some shouting.

"Alright pack this in the lot of you! People I'm calling a major time out. So freaking stars and garters stop it now!" roared Hank in his loudest tone.

Shocked and stunned the fighting immediately stopped. Jack extracted his teeth from McCoy's leg while Dark Beast released his strangle hold. Scott and Bobby were hiding behind the nearest car after taking one look at the snarling Beast. The ladies had stopped their fighting and at least had the grace to look embarrassed, especially Emma when she realized how many admiring looks she was being given by the watching men. Everyone had stopped fighting save Creed and Logan who were rolling around on the floor intent on using their claws to rip each other to shreds.

Sighing heavily Hank stomped over, grabbed the pair of them by the collar before thumping their heads together with a deafening clang of clashing adamantium. This rather effectively stopped the fight and everyone was now nervously watching Hank, wondering what he was going to do next.

Making a determined effort to calm down, Hank gave them all a dazzling smile and placing his hands together began to speak to them all in a sardonically gentle tone.

"Now that we've all finally ceased this petty bickering maybe you'll all be as kind as to hear me out ladies and gentlemen."

**A few minutes later**

"So you see my life has been quite literally hell now that Selene has entered it, however I feel I must keep holding this tiger by the tail. She does seem genuinely to like me and maybe just maybe I can exert a restraining factor on her wild excesses and perhaps like our good friend McCoy here, she will reform. Still it really is most stressful being with her, after all with Magneto and Apocalypse gone; she's now the most powerful of all evil mutants," 

Hank was feeling a lot better, his usual jovial and friendly self again. His anger had lifted once he'd finally got everyone to listen and now that he'd told them just how things had been. Of course Scott was raising his hand so Hank sighed and nodded to him.

"I beg to differ about Selene being that dangerous Hank, I mean you're forgetting Sinister and Cassandra Nova, enemies at least as powerful as her,"

"Two words Scott, Crocodile Hunter. I sincerely doubt that Essex and Cassandra are going to be any trouble at all for a very long time. Come to think off it though Steve Irwin could conceivably be a big a threat as Onslaught. Ah so 'brother' what do you have to say for yourself?"

McCoy was grinning all over his furry gray face and there was an almost warm and friendly gleam in his yellow eyes. Reaching up he patted Hank on the shoulder and looked him over, nodding in approval at what he saw.

"I'm very impressed with the new evolution Hank; the feline look suits you although I don't think it's quite me. I'll be staying as the lovable fuzzy gray Dark Beast, besides the students seem to like the werewolf look. Still I must say that it's nice to see that even you can get nasty, maybe there's hope for you yet. Well basically I'm saying let's make our peace and start afresh, maybe we could even be friends."

He put out his hand and Hank grasped it in his own and they shook solemnly.

"Well I think you've changed for the better but consider this a friendly warning. If I hear that you're getting back to your old tricks you'll find out just how deadly I can be in this new form. So be on your best behavior McCoy because I'll be watching,"

Bobby meanwhile had returned having performed the task set to him by Hank. Fitzroy was now a rather unusual early Christmas decoration on the roof of the Hellfire Club where he was going to be spending the night. This was actually an act of mercy by Hank for it would be the last place Selene would think of looking. In her present mood she'd probably flay him alive if she found him and annoying though he may be even Fitzroy didn't deserve that. Hank was hoping he would be able to put in a plea for clemency towards Fitzroy tomorrow, perhaps she would settle for banishing him to Limbo where he could keep Trish company.

"Hey Hank, do you think the Avengers will recover from their nervous breakdowns? I just saw they had to take Nick Fury and Captain America away in strait-jackets."

"Stars and garters Bobby, how am I ever going to live that down? Oh that reminds me, I probably should have known you'd pull a stunt like that given your propensity for pranks. However if you pull anything like that again I'm going to, ban you from watching any television for a month and there will be no Twinkie's for the same period. Do I make myself clear?"

"Clear as crystal Hank," gulped Bobby having gone white as a sheet from the ghastly threat and shivering uncontrollably from fear.

"I'm going ta rip ya ta shreds next time runt."

"Hah, maybe I'll do the world a favor and pop a claw through yer brain. Oh yeah I did that once so I guess I'll just settle fer ripping yer heart out."

Hank gave Logan and Creed a meaningful glance and they quickly stopped their posturing, settling for glaring and growling under their breath at each other.

Hank grinned and rubbed his hands together, it looked as though for once the situation was under control and he was the one in command. He decided he'd better make the most of this opportunity and perhaps sort things out and maybe they'd be slightly less chaos in future. 

"Now I suggest we sojourn to the Xavier Institute and let's say propose a truce between the X-Men and the Hellfire Club. Settling our differences peacefully would be an excellent idea wouldn't you agree?"

Everyone nodded in agreement including Creed and Logan. Hank grinned and nodded to himself in satisfaction.

"Well stars and garters, looks like things are finally starting to go my way. Let's just hope I haven't spoken too soon."


	16. An Annoying Aussie God Arises

**An Annoying Aussie God Arises**

****

**New Orleans******

"I like clowns, clowns are funny, and hey I look like a clown don't I. Yes I'm so funny like a great big bunny, I'm a clown," babbled Sinister quietly in the corner. He looked up with a rather vacant gaze in his burning red eyes and a rather worrying tic in his cheeks. Then he began giggling quietly at first and then descending into manic chortles reminiscent of a hyena.

The unfortunate Nathaniel Essex had suffered terribly at the hands of Steve Irwin and that brilliant if twisted mind with it's mastery of genetics and obsession with the Summers family was no more. To put it bluntly there was nobody at home inside his head; he was completely and utterly insane now. Still howling with laughter Sinister began slowly rocking backwards and forwards chanting about how he was a merry little pangolin in blue silk pajamas.

If the effect of the Crocodile Hunter on Sinister had been devastating it had apparently been even worse for Cassandra Nova. The bald elderly woman in the revealing black dress was lying facedown across the table unmoving and apparently deceased. Could it be that Cassandra Nova, scourge of the Shiar Empire, destroyer of Genosha, psychic twin to Charles Xavier and omnipotent and psychotic female super-villain had met her final end at the hands of Steve Irwin? Well there was a body so it could be a possibility but unfortunately that wasn't the case. The psychic entity had simply decided to vacate her old body and take over Steve Irwin's instead. It was simplicity itself to possess him since he was already pretty mindless so put up no resistance to her taking him over. A combination of Cassandra Nova and Steve Irwin, surely this was the stuff of nightmares?

"Crikey would you get a load of this, a naughty Sheila took over my mind and now she's going to use me to take over the world. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I shall be unstoppable with all my powers combined with this practically indestructible body, plus as an added bonus no more worrying about which dress to wear. Look out Selene and Hank, Cassie's coming at you," 

Cassandra Nova paused to admire her new reflection in a wineglass; she took one look at her elderly frumpy body and grinned. When she won she'd have the pick of any body she desired so she'd probably go for Selene's so she'd have beauty as well as power. Then she'd finally get a boyfriend just like she always wanted, if only men would fall in love with women for their minds but it was the sad truth that looks went a long way. Cassandra giggled to herself and went over to Sinister. She patted him on the head and he looked up vacantly.

"Sinister, teleport for mummy now, there's a dear,"

"Red and green, white and blue, that is what I now will do," babbled the insane villain.

The two vanished as they teleported to New York and at that moment the body of Cassandra Nova stirred, looked at itself and gave a piercing scream.

"Crikey I've been turned into a Sheila," exclaimed Steve, not happy at all with his new look.

**Hellfire Club**

"Nice to see you back with us Blackheart, just in time for you to help me set up for later. I'll need you to get me some catnip of the freshest and most potent variety. That's all I need now since I've already got the rubber truncheon, the seven silver teaspoons, the broom and the ostrich feather, not forgetting the raw steak of course," said Selene.

Blackheart was speechless for a moment; the costume Selene was wearing was rather risqué even for her. It looked as though all she was wearing was several black silk handkerchiefs together with thigh-high black leather boots and one of her long black capes. Blackheart found he was blushing and was thankful he'd taken the precaution of gulping down a few Prozac. Whatever had he been thinking when he decided to go back to Selene and why had he started to miss her. Quite probably because he was a masochist, either that or he had gone completely mad. Obviously he hadn't been paying enough attention to her as the bullwhip cracked accusingly in his direction.

"Blackheart sweetie, in your own time of course," breathed Selene in a menacing purr.

"Oh a thousand pardons oh pulchritudinous one, I was enraptured by your dazzling beauty. Pray tell me what you need the catnip for; you aren't playing those games with Creed again are you? I mean last time even with his healing factor he nearly had a cardiac arrest,"

"Oh no I'm just preparing for my Black King, the catnip ought to loosen up his inhibitions a little and then my fabulous furry feline fiancée will be ready to join in the fun. I might even be able to persuade him to marry me,"

"Forgive me mistress but I doubt Hank will approve of these sorts of activity's, he's a very moral person and when you last suggested them I believe he uttered 'stars and ga-', before fainting dead away," protested Blackheart, he still shuddered even to think about that little game.

"Oh you'd be surprised Blackheart, beneath that gentle soft blue cuddly exterior beats the heart of a man as wild and feral as Logan or Creed. You should have seen him earlier when he was being all growling, snarling and savage, it was very sexy. You know he really does live up to the name Beast," sighed Selene closing her eyes and remembering Hank's anger.

"I shall er, go and get the catnip, yes I'll do that and then I'll have some more Prozac and half a bottle of whisky. Then I shall retire to my bed because all of a sudden I don't feel at all well," gulped Blackheart.

The demon tugged nervously on his dinner jacket and then vanished. Selene shook her head and then looked in the mirror. How would Hank be able to resist her dressed like that? For all his superior intellect and gentlemanly manner he was still male and no man could resist her for long. Anyway she was sure he'd enjoy the evening especially the highlight where she would drain Fitzroy of all his energy to replenish her youth and leave him a wizened husk. That would teach him to keep his mouth shut in future. A smile slowly played across Selene's face and she cast a quick summoning spell.

"Hello Trish, I've decided to make this evening even more pleasurable for Hank by having you doused in catnip and then setting Victor Creed on you. It should be most entertaining to watch," purred the evil External.

She cackled maliciously as Trish shivered in fear.

**X-Mansion**

Hank was taking the opportunity to relax, enjoying the benefit of everyone going out of their way to be polite and respectful to him. It seemed his little display of the angry side of the Beast had put everyone in awe of him and he'd succeeded in intimidating even Logan and Creed. All it took was just one glance from yellow eyes, a flexing of claws or even just showing his fangs to send the two feral men flinching back in fear. Hank knew he really shouldn't be enjoying frightening them so much but the opportunity really was too good to miss. Anyway this would probably be his last chance for any peace and quiet for a long while. He couldn't stall Selene forever and sooner or later if he wasn't by her side she'd come looking for him. Hank doubted that any of them could cope with another of her visits, poor Beak's eyes would probably pop out of their sockets.

"Yes Beak, I suppose I am 'lucky' that a woman like Selene has taken such an interest in me. No we haven't done anything of the sort yet and I certainly wouldn't be so foolish to tell an adolescent male mutant if I had. No Beak I really don't think I'd go in for that sort of thing, I mean whatever have you been reading, stars and garters, I really don't want to know," groaned Hank holding his head in his paws.

"Hank, what's the matter, oh you're not going to hit me, please don't hit me, not like Mr. Logan hit me," begged Beak.

"No I would never hit my student no matter what the provocation. Please if you want to help then fetch me some aspirin," sighed Hank.

In his way Beak's seeming obsession with Selene was every bit as annoying as Fitzroy's obsession with the sexuality of the male members of the Inner Circle. Speaking of which maybe he shouldn't have let himself be talked into rescuing Fitzroy from the Hellfire Club roof. The way the door had closed when Jack and Yuriko had decided to have a little 'talk' with the poor fellow had been rather ominous. Those screams as well surely hadn't come from any human throat and they'd chilled Hank to his very marrow. He was sure that Yuriko scraping her adamantium talons together and Jack's renditions of various seventies pop hits constituted cruel and unusual punishment.

"Black King I'd like ta ask yer permission ta personally rip Logan's freakin head off," growled Creed popping his head around the door.

"Sorry but I can't allow you to do that. Don't look so disappointed I refused Logan as well. Look if you must brawl then take it outside. I don't want Scott giving himself a hernia over the repair bills and if Xorn has to deal with any more patients tonight I think he'll have a nervous breakdown,"

Creed tried his hardest to look sweet and appealing but the effort was doomed to failure from the start, fierce amber eyes, shaggy muttonchops, sharp fangs wild blonde hair didn't go well with a puppy dog look. Growling under his breath he decided to go and work out his frustrations in the Danger Room. A few minutes later Creed came running back with a terrified look on his face. He leapt up into Hank's arms and hugged him tightly.

"Stars and garters, whatever is the matter now," 

"B-Bobby's set the D-d-danger R-r-room, up as B-b-barney W-w-world," stuttered Sabretooth.

"Stars and freaking garters," gasped Hank in dismay

**Hellfire Club**

Cassandra Nova howled with joy as Selene's second fireball bounced straight off Steve Irwin's seemingly indestructible body. Still tied to her chair in the corner Trish screamed and Blackheart accompanied her with a wail of his own as the devastating battle raged all around them. The rest of the guards and guests of the Hellfire Club had long since fled when Cassandra first arrived. Now the building was a shattered ruin but still the two of them were fighting it out amidst the rubble. Selene was cursing as spell after spell had no effect and she knew she would have been destroyed by now if it wasn't for Cassandra's state of distraction.

"Crikey would you take a look at this gorgeous Sheila, get a load of this naughty demon. Hold it right there, I've had enough of this body, I'm changing it for a new one," muttered Cassandra. 

She was starting to act like the Crocodile Hunter becoming obnoxious as well as omnipotent, irritating as well as menacing with a propensity for saying 'Crikey' and she was getting uncontrollable urges to wrestle with a crocodile. Every time she thought of finishing Selene, destroying her utterly she became distracted and the moment was lost. Steve Irwin may have been many things but he certainly didn't hold with harming anyone except by possibly annoying them to death. What was left of him inside Cassandra's borrowed form was fighting back with all its might. Cassandra finally decided to give up this body and jump to the next available one which happened to belong to Trish Tilby. As she departed Steve's body it collapsed to the floor and thinking quickly Selene banished the corpse to limbo.

"Very sensible my dear but now I shall destroy you thoroughly since I'm not a nice woman," cackled Trish in Cassandra's voice as she untied her ropes.

"My love for Hank shall guide my heart and the power of the human heart is one against which your evil shall never prevail," declared Selene.

The cloyingly sweet platitude nauseated Cassandra, distracting her for a vital few seconds and allowing Selene to literally rip Trish Tilby apart on the molecular level destroying the unfortunate reporter once and for all. Cassandra forced back into her psychic energy form hovered menacingly in the air in front of Selene hissing in impotent fury.

"You've won the battle but I shall win the war, I'll be back just as soon as I get myself a new body," 

She vanished to begin the long search for a suitable new host already plotting numerous ways to gain revenge. Blackheart was so relieved at her departure that he'd decided to go back into a catatonic state and Selene was feeling rather exhausted after her grueling battle.

"I'll forget about the games for tonight and I'm going to be awfully busy rebuilding this place tomorrow. Time for a rest I think."

**X-Mansion**

"Now Bobby you won't be doing anything to upset Creed again will you. Also it is not a good idea to douse Jack and Logan with Nair and certainly the worst possible idea to claim you were under Mastermind's telepathic influence. As for the pink dye incident with McCoy and telling the students that you had naked pictures of Emma Frost and Remy Lebeau, that was low even for you," said Hank in a deceptively gentle tone.

Bobby gulped and nodded eagerly, he was rather nervous since he was being dangled by his shirt collar of the mansion roof. He knew Hank wouldn't really let him fall, no he hoped he wouldn't but he just wasn't sure, not after seeing Hank get so angry. He was so relieved when Hank hauled him back to safety that he threw his arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Hank, I knew you would be merciful and oh man, I'm never going to play another prank again honestly. You really aren't going to punish me are you?"

"No Bobby, I won't punish my best friend," said Hank grinning rather sinisterly.

"Thanks buddy, hey where are we going?"

"I'm not going to punish you, I'm leaving you to McCoy since he has a far more twisted and devious imagination than I do. Don't worry he gave me his word that he wouldn't kill you, hopefully he'll stick to it."

Bobby looked so terrified that Hank almost relented, almost.

**Hank's room**

"Stars and garters, I'm glad that I'm finally back to my own bed. I mean I think I've more than earned a good night's sleep now. No more Selene until tomorrow, no more X-men or Hellfire Club to deal with until then and McCoy ensures me that Bobby's uncontrollable nasal hair growth will be temporary. I've survived one more day and that's something to be thankful for," sighed Hank.

"Yeah I think yer right Hank, ya have earned yer rest, me I'm going fer a drink with McCoy. I think there's one tavern that we're still welcome in. Do ya think Creed will ever come down from that tree?"

"One day perhaps he will. Goodnight Logan,"

"See ya bub,"

Hank yawned and stretched his muscles looking forward to his head hitting the pillow and getting a solid eight hours of sleep. He opened the door, superior vision letting him see well enough in the darkness. Too tired to do anything else he simply kicked off his boots and shrugged off his jacket and just flopped straight down on the bed. He could have sworn he smelt Selene but it was probably just his tired mind playing tricks on him. The feeling of the fur on his forearm being ruffled was probably just his imagination as well. Only when someone started tickling the soles of his feet did he realize it was no dream.

Growling Hank switched on the bedside lamp and revealed Selene in a rather nice black nightgown.

"Hello Hank, I thought I'd come and spend the night with you. You won't mind will you?"

"No I'll sleep on the floor, please none of your games though, I'm just too tired," moaned Hank.

"Then I'll just tell you a bedtime story and perhaps settle for a goodnight kiss," she soothed.

"Yeah whatever," sighed Hank just too tired to put up any resistance. Surrender seemed the best option.


End file.
